The St. Louis Rams are a terrible team and it’s pretty evident they are comfortably aware of that reality. But let’s be honest, not even the most inept of NFL franchises would be foolish enough to pretend a 15-65 record over the last five seasons was anything for fans to be optimistic about.
So what does a team do under such flaccid circumstances? Turn the conversation to the inviting facial hair of the head coach, obviously. Yes, the team’s home opener against the Redskins on September 16 has been coined “Stache Bash,” as anyone using the proper promo code when purchasing a ticket will receive Jeff Fisher’s mustache.
Among the listed benefits of the Fisher mustache shown on the packaging?
– Heightened cosiness factor when paired with sunglasses.
– Savoring the flavor of Rams victory twice as long as ordinary facial hair.
Nice to see the Rams have a sense of humor, but I’m also proud of the team for boldly taking the flavor saver route, which will no doubt serve as a glowing bat signal to lure in all the female fans. Had they mentioned anything about mustache rides, I would demand that Roger Goodell immediately hand over the Lombardi trophy.
At the same time, it’s a little disappointing the actual giveaway is just a paper cutout rather than a fake furry friend. Plus, there’s no mention of Fisher’s glorious NASCAR haircut.
UPDATE: Great news, according to the Rams, the giveaway is in fact a fake furry friend. Very happy about this news and plan on wearing one during the Rams-‘Skins game.