Canadian Sports Site Cattily Slams Paulina Gretzky... For Not Being Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton?

Meet Linda Massarella, a Canadian entertainment writer of some sort. She does not like Paulina Gretzky for some reason. Why? I’m guessing its a bit of catty jealousy, but I can’t be 100% certain. Just look at how she starts this recent article that was published in SLAM! Sports:

Paulina Gretzky’s 15 minutes appear to be officially over. Thank God!

Are they really over? Did they really start? And why are we supposed to be so relieved? Apparently because a modeling and singing career that no one knew she wanted never happened.

No mainstream media has covered her, except as a running joke on the enfant terrible pictures she posts of herself, such as her spread eagle over two pals near a pool or, recently, giving a puppet in the shape of U.S. President Barack Obama the middle finger.

See? Catty. But what should Paulina have strive to be? What female role model(s) would have suited her? What bastion of hard work and integrity could have been a worthy blue print for Wayne’s daughter? Why two women who became rich(er) and famous by making sex tapes.

While it’s true Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton became famous because of “secretly released” porn videos, these gals were no one trick ponies.

What!?

Kardashian works like a mad-woman on her numerous television shows and her growing fashion line.

Really?

Paris Hilton, also a trust fund kid, nevertheless works hard on her fashion line, promoting her perfume and always shows up on time, dressed in lively, yet decent, fashions.

See, I can’t tell if this is real or not. This has to be some poor form of satire. Does she think that Paris designs clothes the way that Dr. Dre has been working on Detox and Kim is like Axl Rose with a slightly larger ass working on Chinese Democracy?

Paulina appears to have done nothing tangible to advance her career.

Is the entire purpose of this article to convince Paulina Gretzky that she needs to make a sex tape?

She merely continues to post photos of herself in new revealing outfits. Her expression is always the same: She looks straight at the camera and does this odd puckering thing with her lips, which I suppose is meant as “come-hither” pout.

Again, this woman wants a Paulina Gretzky sex tape. Now for what would have been the best part had she not applauded Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton for their hard work on camera. She invokes American Thanksgiving and hopes that people will pay more attention to Wayne’s sons next year.

Hopefully, more attention on the other Gretzky kids. Let’s not forget, baseball player Trevor Gretzky was drafted by the Chicago Cubs this year and Ty is a serious student at Arizona State University and a great golfer.

Yes, I’m sure everyone will start to care about Trevor, one of Major League Baseball’s fifty-nine thousand 2012 draft picks. And who could forget Ty, a “serious student” who likes to golf.