Tiger Woods Opened the Masters Par-Par, But You Can't Watch His Full Round Anywhere. What a Joke

Tiger Woods, the biggest draw – by far – at the 2013 Masters, teed off shortly before 11 am. After a par on the first hole, he got a par on the second as well. But you couldn’t watch it anywhere. (Today you’ll have to settle for photos of his girlfriend, Lindsey Vonn.) Not online, not on TV, not on the Masters iphone App. It’s 2013. How can this be possible?

Tiger’s round should end around 3 pm … which is when ESPN goes live! How perfect. (If I were into conspiracy theories, I might think Augusta was up to something.) The clowns who run this event decided it would make sense to feature two groups online, but Tiger’s not in either of those. He is Friday, though, but it’s nearly pointless – Tiger tees off at 1:40 pm, and ESPN goes live at 3, so you’d get to see at least half of his round, anyway.

Billy Payne, the Chairman at Augusta – rumor has it he is the reason this website created the “Rich Old White People” category – believes in the “less is more” theory but he clearly hasn’t talked to any golf fans in the last decade. It’s 2013, Billy. Let me guess, you’re also a “tape delay” kind of guy, right?

So, Tiger fans, you’ll have to be content today with Sportscenter cut-ins, Tiger at Amen Corner and furious refreshing the Masters leaderboard. As Derrick Coleman once said, “whoop de damn do.”