NFL Pigskin Pigsplosion Picks and Cheerleaders: Week 3
We are back, and at least as mediocre as ever!
Last Week
CRM: 7-7-1
Lisk: 5-9-1
Year
CRM: 12-18-1
LISK: 11-19-1
PITCH PERFECT VIDEO OF THE WEEK
San Diego (+3) @ TENNESSEE
CRM: Holy crap! I’m beating Lisk! And I’m only like 6 games under .500! Someone get me a basic cable program where I sell these picks! I’m wasting my talents giving them away for free here. (Chargers)
Lisk: Nothing to be proud of, son (Titans)
Cleveland (+7) @ MINNESOTA
CRM: I completely expect Trent Richardson to finally get it going this week. (Minnesota)
Lisk: Brian Hoyer and Christian Ponder, feel the excitement (Browns)
Tampa Bay (+7) @ NEW ENGLAND
CRM: If Gronk comes back this week and Hernandez gets acquitted next week, the Patriots should be the favorites in the AFC East. (Patriots)
Lisk: Tampa stays just close enough to get into a fight while Tom Brady takes a final knee. (Bucs)
Houston (-2.5) @ BALTIMORE
CRM: Good thing Andre Johnson has a lesser concussion than some people. (Ravens)
Lisk: Ray Rice is doubtful for Sunday, so Bernard Pierce will have to pick up 4th and 29. (Ravens)
St. Louis (+4) @ DALLAS
CRM: I am picking the Cowboys because Jerry Jones hates to lose in his house! (Cowboys)
Lisk: I mean, just because Julio Jones went for a bazillion yards doesn’t mean that Dez Bryant is going to do any good (Rams)
Lisk: The Saints are 2-0 and haven’t even really played their best yet. If they get the red zone efficiency turned around, they win comfortably (Saints)
Detroit (-1) @ WASHINGTON
CRM: Remember 2012? Washington area sports fans were on top of the world. In retrospect, that was cruel. (Lions)
Lisk: Calls for Kirk Cousins to start are ridiculous. Rex Grossman on the other hand . . . (Lions)
Green Bay (-3) @ CINCINNATI
CRM: What does the Bengal say? (Packers)
Lisk: Loser’s fanbase should be prohibited from hunting for a week (Bengals)
New York Giants (+2.5) @ CAROLINA
CRM: Last week the Panthers lost in New York. Now a team from another state has followed them home to rub it in. (Giants)
Lisk: Oh, man, the Panthers secondary is completely banged up, so I’m debating on whether the replacements will be able to catch the kicked interceptions sure to come their way. (Giants)
Atlanta (+3) @ MIAMI
CRM: So many games to pick. (Dolphins)
Lisk: The Miami Dolphins are the first team to win the first two games of the season on the road since . . . the 2010 Dolphins. Obviously a good sign, as I believe that team made the Super Bowl. (Falcons).
Indianapolis (+10) @ SAN FRANCISCO
CRM: Trent Richardson behind the Indy line is the Seattle crowd noise of running backs who upset the 49ers. Is he even playing Sunday? (Colts)
Lisk: Lost among everything else, Vernon Davis may be out, forcing the 49ers to run the single wing with only Anquan Boldin. (Colts)
Jacksonville (+19) @ SEATTLE
CRM: These teams appear to be going in different directions. The Jaguars will need those extra 3 hours of sleep. (Seahawks)
Lisk: Big line, huge line, and the underdogs are a good play usually. Man, Jacksonville stinks though. Relying on Seattle playing conservatively and Henne to Shorts for a backdoor cover. (Jaguars)
Lisk: Bills
Chicago (-3) @ Pittsburgh
CRM: Are the Steelers trying to rebuild, bottom out or kill Ben Roethlisberger? (Bears)
Lisk: At least Pittsburgh fans can rest easy knowing they are a young team with the best days ahead of them. (Steelers)
Oakland (+15.5) @ DENVER
CRM: Who scheduled the Raiders for a night game? Clerical error I assume. (Broncos)
Lisk: I know, I know, the Raiders. This is still a crazy rivalry game, and the Raiders are 7-2 ATS in the last decade, a decade where they have been dreadful, as a touchdown or more dog against Denver. Plus, don’t like lines over two touchdowns anyway. (Raiders)
LISK DEEP PARENTING THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: Walking down the stairs with my four year old this morning, she says “adults don’t move very fast.” I have been eating ice cream all day, depressed over what my kid now thinks of me.