The 2014 Sochi Olympics In One Paragraph

The 2014 Sochi Olympics came to a close yesterday. Some of you may have missed it while quaffing House of Cards. Here is what you missed, condensed into one paragraph. 

Accommodations were treacherous. Dogs were abandoned. Domestic tensions simmered. Bob Costas had infected red eyes. Figure skating was fixed, reportedly. Ashley Wagner emoted. Kate Hansen danced. The enemy triumphed. Olympians had background stories. Adversity was overcome, except by those wearing Under Armour.

[Getty]