RIP Mickey Rooney … More Ukraine unrest … India’s General Election … Jeb Bush running in 2016? … Police bust teen sexting ring … Spring Break Brawl … Why UPS trucks don’t turn left … 20 signs to spot a psychopath … Game of Thrones Drinking Game … Drunk man steals cheese from ex’s refrigerator … Virtual Immortality … Jesus Christ Superstar with Johnny Rotten … Climate change could increase the price of beer … Colbert top choice to replace Letterman … Topless Barber Shop … Strawberry Chocolate Shrimp Chips
Manhunt for “mystery pooper” defecating on playground slides in Michigan. [MLive]
Dan Le Batard: “It’s difficult for us to understand Yasiel Puig’s lack of understanding.” [Miami Herald]
Oregon’s football team is getting swole for 2014. [ESPN]
Apple has a big enough cash reserve to sponsor a manned mission to Mars, among other things. [NYT]
David Ortiz may have ruined POTUS selfies for everyone. [The Hill]
Don’t expect the Cubs to spend money until they renegotiate their media rights deal in 2020. Good times. [Sun Times]
Dutch coach choke slams “prehistoric” Arsenal injury rehab process. [101 Great Goals]
Pedestrianism (watching people walk in a circle) was once an American pastime. [NPR]
U.S. Soccer fired Tom Sermanni as USWNT coach after 16 months. [Soccer By Ives]
The 14 Best Baseball Stadiums For Craft Beer. [The Daily Meal]
Bucks’ Larry Sanders was unapologetic about his marijuana use. [Journal Sentinel]
Professor gets zinged by April Fools joke.
Babies trying lemons for the first time, in slow motion.
Naked woman goes nuts, trashes a McDonalds. (HT @Cartmaniak)
Going back to 505…