John Abraham Was Passed Out Behind the Wheel in the Middle of the Road at 4 pm After Leaving a Strip Club

And now the details are out from said DUI and besides the fact that he failed the alphabet … yikes:

"The Arizona Cardinals linebacker was popped on June 29th in Dekalb County … when cops say they saw a vehicle stopped in the middle of the road with Abraham asleep at the wheel. Cops say they pounded on the doors and screamed at Abraham for several minutes before he woke up — and when he did come to, they immediately smelled booze on his breath. Cops say, “He appeared confused and rambled while speaking.” Then there’s this … “Abraham stated he was coming from the Pink Pony, a strip club and bar” — and told the cops he only had two drinks while inside."

A pre-July 4th night gone wrong? Well, this happened on June 29th. Celebrating something on Saturday night? Well he was picked up by the boys in blue at 4 pm, so that’s an absurd night.

Abraham, 36, was a significant part of a powerful Arizona defense last year, and was chosen for the Pro Bowl at outside linebacker after registering 11.5 sacks. The Cardinals are a playoff contender in the NFC this season, but they’ll need the defense to be as good because nobody trusts QB Carson Palmer. But Abraham’s backups – Lorenzo Alexander and Alex Okafor – combined or just five tackles and no sacks last season.