52 Things That Happened in 2014, Reminding Us It's (Maybe) a Wonderful Time to Be Alive
By Mike Cardillo
Lots of things happened in 2014. Some good. Some bad. Some … something else. Something best summed up with … ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
If that little shruggie character causes you offense, consternation or aggravation I am truly sorry … but not really since you’re going to complain anyway because: Internet. (Oops that’s another online trope some people don’t like.)
Realistically Monsieur Shrug could accompany everything else that follows in this vitally important 2014 rundown post, such as the critical, life-changing time we (I) posted that Johnny Manziel girlfriend’s may or may not have a modeling contract.
I’m not going to rank any of these memorable moments, aside from bestowing No. 1 honors for one particularly important post at the end. As always, enjoy!!!
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Mike Golic showed ESPN (and the world) the top of his oiled backside.
Alex Rodriguez allegedly peed all over cousin Yuri’s house. (Hey, at least I’m housebroken.)
The NFL went to London, so Fox used Big Ben graphics next to Matt Stafford with, interesting, results.
This, err, happened.
So did this: a contestant on Jeopardy! nailed final Jeopardy with a Cliff Clavin reference.
Irish bros watched baseball for the first time and somebody recorded it. Points!
And some bro decided to use a fake goose as a microphone to sing “Don’t Stop Believin’.”
And speaking of Journey, Steeeeeeeeve Perry is still alive and made numerous appearances during the Giants’ run to the World Series crown.
And speaking of bros, Zach Mettenberger is in the running for chillest-ever NFL starting quarterback.
And Gheorghe Muresan played PTI’s tallest-ever Stat Boy.
Before he was universally loathed for his unfunny DirecTV commercials, Rob Lowe literally made a joke about condoms that wound up on ESPN.
Remember the Ice Bucket Challenge? A lot of people did them this summer, including Jean Claude Van Damme’s daughter.
Another person in the news this year was Matthew McConaughey. He wore a fanny pack to Fenway Park. We made a post about it.
Also a post: the time Bob Costas asked for a do-over following a dreadful first-pitch attempt.
A “hero” cat also threw out a first pitch at a game. (Truly, what a time to be alive.)
In the recreation of a Seinfeld plot, the Yankees told Kate Upton she couldn’t wear a Tigers hat at Yankee Stadium.
Some idiot wrote about Hulk Hogan’s 1995 episode of Baywatch.
2014: The year of the Vine.
The intro to ABC’s old Wide World of Sports included a line of about birds crapping in the mouths of soccer players, right?
Or how about soccer players trying to throw baseballs?
Oh yeah, the World Cup happened in 2014. A Chilean TV reporter flashed the media center after her team scored.
Live television remained fraught with peril, ask Bob Holtzman.
Or they’re a perfect time to ask someone out on a date, even if wildfires burn in the background.
Not all videobombs are mean-spirited. Sometimes a dude just wants to rock out with some air guitar.
Tony Romo took a dip.
Derek Holland talked, in depth, about farts.
A college baseball player looked exactly like Kenny Powers.
Remember that time that player for USC was a hero and then not a hero in the span of, like 12 hours?
Or remember when the Spelling Bee included the moderator reciting Kelis’ milkshake?
Headline I actually wrote part I: “The Boob Adjustment Heard ‘Round the Twitter World.”
Father of the year really, really wanted a foul ball at a Mets’ spring training game.
Meanwhile, this is how you do it.
Bryce Harper wore a tight shirt one day to Nationals camp.
The Olympics happened. People were very concerned with Bob Costas’ eye.
And also an American luger who danced.
This didn’t actually happen in Socchi, but you can damn well bet we posted it anyway!
Headline I actually wrote part II: “Model Sues Playboy for Golf Tee in Butt Cheeks Shot Gone Painfully Wrong.”
Vin Scully told a story about a crack pipe.
The Detroit Tigers hung out with Kate Upton on Oscar night and wore hats of varying sizes.
Dick Vitale had the worst time ever at the Raleigh airport.
Dustin Pedroia believes in Sasquatch, apparently.
People took a lot of selfies in 2014. Scottie Pippen didn’t quite grasp what the term means.
Bartolo Colon was the man of a 1,000 GIFs.
A Mariners minor leaguer fought a scout. Ice cream sandwiches were prominently involved.
Roy Williams danced to a popular radio song.
Hedo Turkoglu danced, too. The song in this case is irrelevant.
Fans fought at a college bowl game. It went viral, as they say.
Some idiot was selected, for a day, the third-worst person in the world.
Jim Harbaugh didn’t wear khakis or coach Michigan in this post, but he did do pushups with a large marine mammal.
Runner up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯post of 2014: John Daly’s pizza franchise can be yours! Seriously.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Post of the 2014, winner: Katy Perry at College GameDay. Truly the culmination of about a million different things in one simple GIF.
So that’s the list. The Internet is a weird, sometimes wonderful but always strange place especially when sports and corn dogs are involved.
Fuck it, Nic Cage took this photo. Maybe 2014 on the sports Interwebs wasn’t so terrible after all.