Debbie St. Pierre … If you are disturbed by clowns, don’t click this one. … Lede: “A load of excrement forced the closure of the southbound Interstate 65 exit ramp onto Indiana 18 about 1:45 p.m. Thursday.” … Massachusetts drunk driver tries to trick police that crash was due to black ice. … Here’s the first photo of Aquaman from the new Batman vs. Superman movie. … The CEO of Vice News reportedly spent $300,000 of his own money on a dinner for 30 in Vegas. … “Pizza bandit” gets a year’s probation. … Aaron Afflalo traded to the Blazers. … Simpsons quote database. … Infographic on what it takes to make different types of booze. … Even more crazy pictures of the snow in Boston! … Kurt Cobain’s Visa card is going to auction. … Chelsea bans three fans for racist behavior in Paris earlier this week. … Guy buys $35,000 watch for $5.99 at a Goodwill. … Chris Weinke joining the Rams’ coaching staff. … Back to the Future II iPhone case. … Happy birthday: Phil Esposito (73); Sandy Duncan (69); J. Geils (69); Ivana Trump (66); Walter Becker (65); Patty Hearst (61); Joel Hodgson (55); Charles Barkley (52); French Stewart (51); Cindy Crawford (49); Andrew Shue (48); Tom Waddle (48); Liván Hernández (40); Stephon Marbury (38); Justin Verlander (32); Brian McCann (31); Rihanna (27). … Have a nice weekend.
The Raiders and Chargers are exploring options on a joint, $1.7 billion, privately-funded stadium in Carson, Calif., if they can’t find new stadiums in Oakland or San Diego. [LA Times]
RIP comedian/writer Harris Wittels. [Variety]
Kobe Bryant really likes Harry Potter. [GQ]
Jayson Werth talks about his five days in prison. [Washington Post]
New York Times writer Oliver Sacks writes on his terminal cancer diagnosis. [NYT]
Bad news for the Rangers: Jurickson Profar needs shoulder surgery, could miss all of 2015. [Dallas Morning News]
How important is the 40-yard dash at the NFL combine? [Yahoo!]
Pablo Sandoval laughs off any critics of his weight from a Spring Training photo earlier this week. [ESPN Boston]
Former NFL lineman Jeff Zgonina wants to win the Westminster Dog Show. [WSJ]
Unofficially, this is the longest thing ever written about Super Smash Bros. [Grantland]
Strange premise: Soviet-born American writer decides to spend a week watching Russian television from a luxury New York hotel suite. [NYT Mag]
Cage also appears right at the beginning of this profile on Carrot Top. [Esquire]
Thank you Internet: An extensive history of “Whoomp (There It Is)” in professional wrestling. [With Spandex]
Comedy is in the news lately (i.e. SNL). Here’s a reprinted 1981 Esquire article about the life and death of Doug Kenney, who wrote Animal House and Caddyshack. [Daily Beast]
Here’s 40 ‘unheralded’ SNL sketches worth exploring on a Friday. [Splitsider]
Breaking down Michael Keaton’s 1980s filmography.. [Uproxx]
This guy caught a 1,058 pound marlin. [BroBible]
New international trailer for Mad Max: Fury Road movie.
This guy had a lot of time on his hands.
An old SI Swimsuit video featuring Jessica Gomes.
Father John Misty.