The Atlanta Braves Trade All-Star Closer Craig Kimbrel to the San Diego Padres

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I don’t know what the San Diego Padres have been drinking this offseason, but, I would like to try some as well — because this team just went from a decade of “Who the hell is (Insert SD Padre Player HERE)?” to…

…in about two months.

On the heels of a ridiculous free agency period that saw the franchise acquire the services of Matt Kemp, Justin Upton, Wil Meyers, Derek Norris, and James Shields — they just swung for the fences by trading for one of the best Closers the game has to offer, in fireball-slinging Craig Kimbrel.

All that matters is that the Upton Brothers are now back to being on the same team again, which means the Padres are going to make me LOSE MY MIND…

P.S. WHOOPS.