EPL Monday: Chelsea Can Start Engraving the League Trophy (Assuming The Blues Haven't Already)

The 2014-15 English Premier League season is ending with a whimper. Yes, the self-proclaimed greatest league in human history since the Hanseatic is wheezing toward the finish line on May 24. If you’re like me, after a long, brutal, snow-filled winter it’s increasingly difficult to spend sunny spring mornings watching soccer from England when everything is mostly a fait accompli except the relegation battle.

As Americans, we sometimes love to wax poetic and are fascinated by the concept of relegation. Don’t get me wrong, the open-tiered league system used across the globe in soccer is great, but in practical terms this season’s EPL relegation scrap is a fight over which teams can be slightly less-shitty than three extremely shitty soccer teams. That doesn’t exactly get my motor running, after nine-plus months of never-ending league action.

Conversely, the race for promotion in the English League Championship is stunning. Look at the table with two matches remaining: Watford, AFC Bournemouth, Middlesbrough and Norwich City are separated by three points. The top two gain automatic promotion and Nos. 3-6 enter the promotion playoffs –which are generally awesome. So in other words, if you like English soccer and want excitement you’ve got to embrace your inner soccer nerd and follow the Championship. Fun!

In the top flight, Chelsea, as we’ve known since September, is going to win the title — giving Chelsea haters a long time to reconcile themselves with this unfortunate fact. Saturday, Mourinho pulled off another trademark 1-0 home victory — almost a throwback to 2004-05 given Didier Drogba’s involvement — thanks to Cesc Fabregas and Eden Hazard pouncing on an errant pass from Manchester United defender Chris Smalling. At this point the only knock on Chelsea is moaning about a lack of style points, but that was never going to be the case under Mourinho, who puts the results above all else. To witness:

During his first stint at Stamford Bridge, Mourinho played it mostly close to the vest, relying on the defensive triangle of John Terry, William Gallas, and Claude Makélélé to stonewall opponents, while waiting for Drogba to knock down a long pass in front of goal or Arjen Robben — yeah him — to make mincemeat of defenders on the counter attack. If you like soccer and decide to follow it regularly, sooner or later you need to realize that style points don’t matter as much as regular points in the table.

On the FA Cup:

Arsenal and Liverpool took place over the weekend. Arsenal survived in extra time to beat Reading, setting up a chance for the Gunners to defend their title. Arsenal’s opponent will be Tim Sherwood’s Aston Villa, which pressed Liverpool out with a 2-1 win. We can debate the significance of the FA Cup in modern soccer forever and ever, but the fact remains it is a trophy. In simplest terms it’s better to win something than end the season with nothing.

For Arsenal? Yes, if you’re a Gunners supporter you want to win the league first and foremost — the Champions League remains pie-in-the-sky. That said, Arsenal went almost a decade without winning anything (except fourth place trophies), so back-to-back FA Cups and a second place EPL finish isn’t something to turn your nose up at. In fact, you might even want to celebrate it since things are clearly trending upward in North London … that is until one loss triggers the next round of “Fire Wenger” debates.

Reminder: following European soccer is often so much fun.

Speaking of fun, Liverpool crashed out vs. Villa despite taking a 1-0 lead in the first half through Philippe Coutinho. Credit Aston Villa for pressing effectively and not completely falling apart after defender Nathan Baker left in the first half, shortly before the Liverpool goal. Observers seem to love Tim Sherwood and if Villa somehow beat Arsenal I’m fully expecting a keg stand inside the center circle at Wembley.

Overall, what a strange, unfufilling season for Liverpool. The Reds started off poorly, then turned really good, and now the form is poor again. So. which is the real Reds team? The one that struggled to adjust to life without Luis Suarez and an injured Daniel Sturridge, or the high-intensity squad that baffled opponents in a 3-4-3 formation?

Winning the FA Cup would have been a nice achievement for Liverpool since it’s last trophy was the 2011-12 League Cup, but it wouldn’t have masked all the troubles below the surface at the club, which is in its third decade without winning the English top division league title. Again, you wouldn’t pooh-pooh an FA Cup, but seeing as how Liverpool crashed out of the Champions League during the Group Stage and will finish outside the Top Four (and lost in the League Cup semifinals) the momentary triumph of winning an historic knockout tournament wouldn’t offset those other setbacks — or close the gap between finishing in the Top Four, let alone challenging for the title again.

At the very least, Steven Gerrard will be gone in June to the LA Galaxy which solves one on-field issue for the Reds. He won’t get his Hollywood ending, lifting the FA Cup in May, but so be it. The entire broadcast (Martin Tyler, mostly) of the FA Cup on Sunday seemed to focus on how Gerrard would do something magical to rewrite history, as if it was still 2005 or 2006 and Gerrard is some sort of metaphysical soccer god capable of rewriting the game’s source code in the final moments. Instead, Gerrard’s going to leave Anfield with a whimper and — unfortunately — be remembered for his terrible slip that helped cost Liverpool last year’s EPL title.

In many ways the end of Gerrard at Liverpool is like the end of Derek Jeter’s career with the Yankees. The hagiography of Jeter said the Captain should have hit a walk-off homer in the World Series in his final at bat (and then be raptured up into the baseball heavens). Instead Jeter’s career ended with a infield single at Fenway Park for a playoff-less Yankees team. In the same way, Gerrard’s Liverpool career is set to finish in a meaningless game at the Britannia Stadium vs. Stoke in May.

Gerrard leaving probably helps Liverpool moving forward, but there are countless questions now whether it be about the future of Brendan Rodgers or players like Raheem Sterling and Jordan Henderson.

Goal of the Week:

Craig Gardner ripped this beauty from distance against Crystal Palace. It all but assures another season of West Brom (and Tony Pulis’ baseball cap) in the Prem.

Stat of the Week:

Yep, the Manchester City rebuild/tear down is going to be a piece of cake. Fortunately David Silva didn’t break any bones in his check after an errant Cheikhou Kouyaté elbow on Sunday.

The Table:

1. Chelsea … 76 points/32 games played
2. Arsenal … 66/32
3. Manchester United … 65/33
4. Manchester City … 64/33
5. Liverpool … 57/32
6. Tottenham … 57/33

15. Aston Villa … 32/33
16. Sunderland … 29/32
17. Hull City … 28/32
18. Leicester City …. 26/32
19. QPR … 26/33
20. Burnley … 26/33

Looking Ahead:

Arsenal hosts Chelsea at the Emirates on Sunday at 11 a.m. If history tells us anything Mourinho is going to clone Nemanja Matic and then start eight of those clones, the original Matic, Hazard and then a goalie playing for the world’s most-sleep inducing 0-0 draw.