Game of Thrones: "Kill The Boy" Recap
This episode felt really focused and I thought it was great because of that perceived focus. The episode appeared to deal with three specific stories – Danaerys, Jon Snow, and the Boltons – yet directly involved many other characters and storylines. Maybe it’s just that they mostly stayed in a few locations that made it feel tighter. I’m not sure. Either way, it makes me wonder what Game of Thrones would have been like if it just focused on one character/story/location per episode for an entire season. Like Arrested Development Season 4, but with less CGI.
Daenerys– As ineffective as Dany is at almost everything, when she decides she wants to do something, she does it in a totally badass way. Friend gets killed? Time for a speech in Valyrian while she feeds her dragons.
Daario – He’s still Sonny in a Halloween costume, but he’s going to be heartbroken when he finds out what is apparently happening to his Queen.
Dragons – YES. Set those dragons free Dany! You gotta let the big dragons eat!
Hizdahr zo Loraq – I guess it’s time to learn his name. He’s been in a bunch of episodes at this point, but I just figured he’d have been killed off by now. And now he’s going to become another king? If I told you he was Eagle-Eye Cherry, would you believe me? Would you believe that Eagle-Eye Cherry isn’t a stage name? Anyway, Hizdahr zo Loraq has no ring to it, like say, Ilyn Payne and Mance Rayder. I say we stick with Dragon-Eye Cherry.
Maester Aemon – The wisest old man out of all the old, wise men. With that in mind, was anyone else a little worried for Olly when Maester Aemon said, “Kill the boy?” “Kill the boy and let the man be born” is a beautifully poetic way of saying, “Be a man!” or “Grow some balls!” “Show some testicular fortitude,” if you will. You know, Aemon did say “testicular fortitude” once. At that point he gave up his title and powerful family name and moved to The Wall, where he was the smartest person that only a few people ever heard from again. Most of the Seven Kingdoms doesn’t even know he still exists. What a chilling parable.
Jon Snow – Decision making. Bravery. Just your standard Jon Fuckin’ Snow shit.
Samwell – It took 5 seasons, but finally, someone in charge appreciates Sam’s love of reading.
Tormund Giantsbane – He seems perpetually confused. Sure, his captor who he was trying to kill just took his chains off and said he want to end an 8,000 year disagreement, but still. And now he’s going on another adventure with Jon! Road trip!
Stannis – “Fewer.” Were you wondering if Westeros had any Grammar Police?
Brienne and Pod – Just a couple of people watching a teenage girl from a window a safe distance away after that girl told them to leave her alone.
Ramsay – Real tour de asshole performance. Between telling his girlfriend he thinks another girl is pretty and asking his dad about banging his wife and the fat jokes.
Myranda – (Real name – Charlotte Hope) What’s she thinking? Did Ramsay send her to speak to Sansa? Or was that her plan to get Sansa to leave Ramsay alone.
Sansa – It’s strange to think the last time she smiled was when she originally thought she was going to get to marry Joffrey. Previous to that she was probably given a doll which was immediately set on fire.
Reek – Another rough outing for Theon. I keep waiting for him to come to his senses, but then I remember he has nothing to live for. [points down there] The good news is that he gets to give away the bride at a wedding.
Walda Bolton – She has a voice! And a bun in the oven. Good lord, the reactions when the pregnancy was announced. Sansa nearly smiled.
Roose Bolton – With Tywinn dead, he’s the sternest dad left on the show.
Grey Worm – Bro, don’t feel ashamed. All men fear they will never again see Missandei from the island of Naath.
Tyrion – “I am a person who drinks. People who drink need to keep drinking.” Put that on your Game of Thrones mug or Iron Growler. Add Stone Men and dragons to his excellent journey.
Jorah – Pirates were right to be afraid of the doom. And now he’s got Greyscale. Dammit Jorah. What were you even looking for?
The Doom – Volcanoes killed the dragons. I wonder if Westeros has climate change truthers?
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Season 5, Episode 3: “High Sparrow” Recap
Season 5, Episode 2: “The Wars to Come” Recap
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