Roundup: Miss Oklahoma Wins Miss USA; Marshawn Lynch Dominates Kickball & El Chapo Escapes

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Olivia Jordan, Miss Oklahoma, who just captured Miss USA … “Sex Parties Make My Marriage Better” … Oregon man arrested for jacking off a horse (as well as himself), gets tasered three times … legendary Mexican drug lord El Chapo has escaped from a maximum security prison, again … cute 31-year old Pennsylvania teacher caught in car getting “intimate” with 17-year old boy from her class … during California prison brawl, one inmate was sawed nearly in half, had his organs removedJessica Simpson, still a fan … there’s a Han Solo spinoff movie in the works … I’m shocked to learn a woman caught getting double-teammed in public in Calgary has led to “nasty, online-shaming” … Ryne Sandberg has his sweet Philly pad on the market … “DUI suspect blames Taliban, ISIS,” but when asked if he was drinking, answered, “of course” … John Stamos has entered drug rehab

What a great story of a policeman doing a good thing. He could have sent to Caron Butler in jail when he was in high school. He didn’t. [Journal Times]

Good column on the rise of USA basketball, which recently won the U-19 World Championship despite fielding a super young team. [The Sporting News]

Morons write a horrible op-ed blasting Amy Schumer’s jokes as “racist.” Later admit having never seen her live, or do standup. Why would the Post run this garbage? [Wash Post; Interrobang]

Man wins table tennis title in Vegas, promptly proposes to his girlfriend. [AP]

Why doesn’t Jozy Altidore put his hand over his heart during the National anthem? “I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness. My mom is a Jehovah’s Witness and there’s just certain things we don’t do.” [Goal.com]

This is probably the most glowing website profile in the history of website profiles. The author is practically drooling. And this coming from someone who enjoys the Awl. [Verge]

Donovan McNabb’s 2nd DUI in 18 months has gotten him “suspended indefinitely” by Fox Sports. [CNN]

Scroll down here for a photo of a woman hit between the eyes by a foul ball at Fenway. [Globe]

Philadelphia radio battle heats up as Tony Bruno walks away, some new guy is talking a lot of trash to this guy. [Philly.com]

When Pat McAfee is done as a punter in the NFL, perhaps he has a future as a comedian. [Indy Star]

Here’s a 1st pitch you won’t soon forget. She didn’t even know who was catcher!

Allison Stokke doing underwater pole vaulting. Remember Allison Stokke? [via Busted Coverage]

Don’t watch Walking Dead, but sure, this Season 6 teaser looks like the show isn’t bad.

Marshawn Lynch, good at kickball.

It’s still early, but this is the best Vine of the Gold Cup so far.

Bucket-getter extraordinaire Norman Powell from UCLA gave 20 to the Kings in the Summer League over the weekend. Nice pick, Raptors.