Is It Actually Possible Zlatan Ibrahimovic Lands at Manchester United?

Soccer’s so-called “Silly Season” is in full swing. Although we’re in mid-July the usually insane European rumor mill hasn’t been too crazy, but it’s starting to head in that direction.

The rumor: Zlatan Ibrahimovic to Manchester United.

Wait … what?: PSG seems ready to listen to offers on its iconic Swede. Recently during the club’s summer tour of North America, United manager Louis van Gaal hinted the club is in the market for a striker, “It’s not the striker that the media has written about,” which would rule out long-speculated targets such as Harry Kane. There isn’t a bigger name out there to associate with Old Trafford than The Zlatan, is there?

Why some of this might make sense…: Robin van Persie left to go to Turkey. United let Falcao limp his way back to Monaco, where he was subsequently loaned out to Chelsea. As of July 21, Wayne Rooney is the club’s only confirmed striker, unless van Gaal suddenly has a change of heart toward Javier Hernandez. Youngster James Wilson is more likely to see Carling Cup minutes, than EPL minutes. Ibrahimovic, now 33, is at the end of his contract and PSG. Considering the additions of Bastian Schweinsteiger and Morgan Schneiderlin last week, United is happy to spend on established players. Angel Di Maria’s name is consistently linked with a move to Paris, something else to consider.

Why it probably doesn’t …: As often is the case with egos, van Gaal and Ibrahimovic don’t have a great relationship dating back to their Ajax days. Ibrahimovic called him a “pompous arse” in his book, too.

Is there smoke/fire?: As of Tuesday afternoon a Google News search for “Zlatan Manchester United” only yielded a handful of results, running neck-in-neck with AC Milan rumors. ESPNFC, which isn’t usually prone to unchecked gossip hyperbole, or at least couches it, did run a column listing Ibrahimovic as a potential striker for LvG to target among a few other names.

Bookmakers have lowered the odds from 20-to-1, to 5-to-1.

Would he fit at Old Trafford?: Probably. Zlatan’s unique, ego-centric persona is one thing, but he does deliver — winning league titles in the Netherlands, Italy, Spain and France. Over the last eight seasons he’s never failed to score less than 21 goals across all competitions in a season. The mind wonders at what he could do in two games against the likes of John O’Shea and Sunderland for a season.

But Wayne Rooney wouldn’t like this, would he?: To his credit — or detriment — Rooney is among the game’s most adaptable players. In his three Champions League final appearances with United, he’s started as an out-and-out striker, wide in a front-three and as a support striker.

Admit it, this is more of the English press throwing shit against the wall: There’s probably a huge kernel of truth to that, especially since the English soccer media loves to point out Ibrahimovic’s shortcomings in the Champions League time-after-time.

So that means he’ll probably end back at AC Milan by September: Milan already signed a pair of strikers (Carlos Bacca, Luiz Adriano) but remain interested in Ibrahimovic since the Rossoneri have essentially decided they’ll try to recapture their faded glory as if they’re a 13-year-old kid playing FIFA Ultimate Team.

Is there any chance this half-rumor becomes reality: At first glance this sounds like a perfect mid-July transfer story– big names, bigger speculation — but United’s need for a striker and Zlatan’s age and contract wouldn’t rule it out completely. Let’s say this one is around 20 percent possible, 80 percent rumors.

After all this can we please watch that goal Zlatan scored against England a couple years ago again? Yes.