The Onion Bag: Arsenal and Liverpool In Crisis, As Per Usual

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Arsenal Gonna Arsenal

It seems inevitable. Arsenal endure an injury rash. They scuffle in the tough part of their schedule, with a bad loss or three. The club suffers une crise de confiance. Reactionary fans call for Arsene Wenger’s departure. The Jurgen Klopp column gets written. Later, the club finds its form against the minnows and secures a top four finish. Perhaps, they pat themselves on the back for riding a fortunate draw to the FA Cup Final.

Right now, Arsenal are at peak crise. They embarrassed themselves against Chelsea, who look like anything but Chelsea at present. Two Champions League defeats, to Dinamo Zagreb and Olympiacos, have all but eliminated them in the group stage (Why prepare, focus, or field a full-strength squad in a must-win match? David Ospina’s feelings are important!). Outside vultures are circling, to the point Arsene Wenger has become bored with them. There are injury concerns in central defense and central midfield. It is, needless to point out, the perfect time for a title race six-pointer versus top-of-the-table Manchester United.

The Red Devils came from behind against Wolfsburg at midweek. They have run off four straight league wins, scoring three goals in each match. Arsenal could “make a statement” against United. The Gunners aren’t big on statements (one win in their last 13 league matches). They let their argument play out over the long haul and are proven, if not right, then not in the wrong. If you root for them, they do just enough to infuriate.

Merseyside Derby

Arsenal reel in perception. Liverpool reel in reality. The Reds have won one of their last eight matches in all competitions, a rousing 3-2 triumph over Aston Villa. The club with the five European Cups is now in “tank the cups to focus on the league” mode. They enter their “mid-table clash” at Goodison Park with Mersyside rivals Everton. They are undefeated in their last six derbies, albeit with just one win.

Brendan Rodgers claims he is not worried about his job security. Common sense, the club’s dismal form, and swirling speculation about Carlo Ancelotti, Frank de Boer, Jurgen Klop, or Ronald Koemans suggest otherwise. One presumes Liverpool would prefer an orderly transition at season’s end. But, that prospect is near untenable now, and things can get worse. Adding to Everton, the Reds have road trips to Tottenham and to Chelsea later this month.

It’s not clear whether this is a “must win” for Rodgers. But, he should be operating under that presumption, not that there is an EPL game that isn’t “must win.”

Treating Soccer Matches Like Mike Francesa

Bayern Munich is playing Dortmund in a six-pointer at the top of the Bundesliga table. Rematch of the 2013 Champions League Final. Robert Lewandowski looks to continue his ridiculous goal-scoring form. Where can one find this glorious Sunday spectacle on American television? FS2. Or, if you’re among the millions who aren’t offered FS2, nowhere legal. FS1 dumped the match to show vital NASCAR pre-race programming.

Sepp Now Likes The Women

FIFA Don and libertine Sepp Blatter issued a statement, through his attorneys, calling for more female leadership in FIFA. He calls for it, as though he hasn’t been in a direct position to do something about it for 40 years. Now, Sepp has not been insensitive to the issues facing women in international soccer. In fact, he considers himself “the godfather” of women’s soccer. He has offered the ladies the opportunity to test out new playing surfaces, not to mention helpful marketing advice. No word on whether Sepp will weigh in on women’s office attire.

Dick Departure

All-name team manager Dick Advocaat may not be at Sunderland much longer. The 68-year-old Dutchman would not confirm he would be the manager past Sunday. The Black Cats are bottom of the EPL table, with two points from seven matches.

Cup Final Winner

USWNT striker Amy Rodriguez scored a late winner to give FC Kansas City the NWSL title over the Seattle Reign. Someday, soccer will be big enough in this country to get a cup final not scheduled head-to-head with the NFL or the SEC Title Game.

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