Roundup: CC Sabathia on Rehab, Newspaper's Bad Urban Meyer Tweet, Ben Carson's Rap

CC Sabathia on his decision to enter alcohol rehab. .. How fat is your state? … Greek island is running out of space to bury dead migrants … Wait, is The Rocketeer real? … All of that extreme exercise may be bad for your heart … The ACC is still admitting officiating errors in the Duke-Miami game … E.T. screenwriter Melissa Mathison dead at 65 … Lance Berkman is sick of all this tolerance crap … Aramis Ramirez retires … Lost Italian marathon runner was “too overwhelmed” to ask for help … Someone stole Fat Jew’s book and posted the entire thing on Twitter … Katy Perry is making bank … One way to try to avoid a DUI is to eat toilet paper, as this fellow did … Sure sounds like LeBron James was doing some real-life body-shaming to Kevin Love …Downed Russian flight possibly a result of a bomb … Check out Justin Pierre-Paul’s custom gloves … This is one ugly whale … Solar storms strip ions from Mar’s upper atmosphere… Woman at center of latest Notre Dame scandal “heartbroken” by accusations … North Carolina judge accused of attempting to bribe an FBI agent with beer … Charter bus crash kills six in Arkansas … Nora Segura

Tampa teacher in hot water for video of juggling dead frogs. And here I thought this was America. [Fox 13]

Patrick Kane said, once again, that he did nothing wrong as rape case closes. [Chicago Tribune]

Don’t look now but the Bengals are 8-0 and Andy Dalton seems to have exorcised his primetime demons. [Cincinnati Enquirer]

Here’s why Urban Meyer’s wife was so upset with the Houston Chronicle. [11 Warriors]

Media sector sell-off sweeps Wall Street as cord-cutting fear grows. [CNN Money]

It is tough for all those NBA Western Conference social media managers out there. [Larry Brown Sports]

Bleacher Report’s founder on the current state of online sports media has some interesting angles. [Outkick the Coverage]

Johnny Manziel’s performance last night makes perfect sense considering pregame puppy-holding ritual. [Busted Coverage]

Less than a week until this happens. Plan accordingly.

How many fire emojis is Ben Carson’s new radio rap ad?

Allow David Blatt to get you AMPED for Cavs basketball

In case you were thinking about using some drugs this weekend, the 1988-89 Buffalo Sabres have a few words for you.

Everybody Panic!