All the Rocky Movies, Ranked from Creed to the Original Rocky
Creed, the latest and possibly, but not definitely, last film in the Rocky series, hits the big screen this holiday weekend. I have never seen a Rocky movie. Not a one. I’ve seen clips. I’ve heard famous lines. But I’ve never seen any of these movies. However, someone needs to rank these films. When there is more than one thing, those things must be put in numerical order to prove what is best and what is worst. That’s why we’re here.
Now, I could have watched all these movies before writing this list. They’re readily available multiple places. I could have done that.
I didn’t.
I know Rocky is an underdog. I know Rocky is from Philadelphia. I know he likes to yell the name Adrian. And I know he was very close with Carl Weathers. (The actor, not the Breakfast King of Loyola.) Still, why can’t I rank these films? Has lack of knowledge of a subject every stopped someone on the Internet from ranking a group of things? Luckily, I’m ranking these films using an indisputable system – newest to oldest. Try and argue!
7. Creed
Apollo Creed’s son, Creed, is a boxer. Rocky trains Creed who faces adversity, but probably knocks out his opponent in the end. Spirits are lifted and this movie is just being released this week. It is without a question the newest Rocky film.
6. Rocky Balboa
Rocky, our hero from five previous movies, returns to the ring because a video game makes people have a stupid debate over who would win a fight between two boxers from different eras. Then the guys actually fight. I’m assuming Rocky won and proved that young, strong, flashy people are no match for good, old-fashioned American hard work and experience. Plus, it was released in 2006. That makes it older than Creed, but newer than Rocky V.
5. Rocky V
Rocky has retired, but trains a fighter conveniently named Thomas Gunn, going by the nickname Thomas “The Tank Engine” Gunn. Some boxing happened. And some drama. You don’t need to have seen this movie to know it came out in 1990.
4. Rocky IV
Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren from “The Expendables” franchise) besmirches the honor of America. Rocky fights Ivan Drago and ends the Cold War. Best I can tell, people actually believe this. Not in the film, but in real life. Thirty years later, people actually believe that. Two people seriously said the “Rocky ended the Cold War” thing to me yesterday. It’s been 30 years! Which of course means this movie came out in 1985.
3. Rocky III
Rocky returns after a three-year hiatus to face a character played by Mr. T. Mr. T’s character looks just like Mr. T. They fight. Likely multiple times. Yup, looked at Wikipedia and that’s what happened. I hope he worked hard. He probably did. Also one of his good friends probably died. Highs. Lows. That’s the kind of thing that happened in movies in 1982.
2. Rocky II
Rocky stops boxing and gets married but he can’t make a living unless he’s boxing so he boxes again. It’s a rematch. With Carl Weathers’ character, Apollo Creed. There is a training montage and Rocky wins the boxing championship. Again! Possibly? And in 1979? What a time to be alive.
1. Rocky
The first Rocky movie, Rocky, was about a boxer named Rocky Balboa. Rocky has to overcome adversity to become a boxing champion. His wife and/or girlfriend, Adrian, has a name that Rocky shouted. After some adversity, with the help of his faithful trainer Mickey and another guy named Paulie, Rocky becomes a boxing champion. This movie is a triumph of the human spirit, but mostly, it was the first movie in this series. Released in 1976 – the same year America turned 200 – this movie is without a doubt the #1 movie on this list that I based on the chronology of this series because I have never seen any of these movies. Still, this one was released in 1976, making it the oldest Rocky film and the obvious choice as the top film on a list of Rocky films ranked by someone who has never seen a Rocky movie, using nothing but the release date as criteria.
Thanks for reading!