Recipes for ManBQue's Grotesque Ballpark Re-Creations
These are the directions for the accompanying post about grotesque ballpark fare. These recipes are by John Carruthers, one of the authors of Eat Street, the new book from ManBQue; Photos are by Radha Kulkarni.
BURGERIZZA (Turner Field, Atlanta Braves)
In cooking, we found it was important to give the burger and the pizzas each five minutes to rest in a warm place (like a low oven) before assembling. It will completely allay your fears about a soggy stunt burger.
There are quite a few steps here, but you don’t make dinner guests remember your name forever by heating up a Lean Cuisine. Open a beer and let’s have some fun.
1 pound pizza dough (homemade, from scratch, or from the local pizza shop), shaped
Cornmeal, to dust pan
Flour, to dust pan
Olive oil, to brush
Kosher salt
1/2 cup marinara
1/2 cup grated mozzarella
Red pepper flakes, to taste
8 slices pepperoni, to top
8 1/2 ounces ground beef (we use a 40/40/20 sirloin/shortrib/brisket mix)
Black pepper, to taste
2 slices American cheese
4 slices thick-cut bacon
1. Using a 6-inch cast iron pan as a guide, cut two 6-inch circles out of the shaped pizza dough. Preheat your oven to 400.
2. Dust the pans lightly with cornmeal and flour and lay in the pizza dough, keeping it thicker around the sides and pressing up the side of the pan slightly.
3. Brush the top of the dough with oil, season with flour, and place over medium heat on burner. When the dough starts to rise and bubble, top with the marinara, cheese, and pepperoni and move the pans to the oven.
4. Bake 5-8 minutes, checking regularly. When the cheese is bubbly and starting to brown, remove them to a warm place to rest.
5. While the pizza is cooking, pour a tablespoon of oil into the pan and set it over the highest heat. Form the beef gently into one big-ass burger patty about the size of one of your pizzas. Season it generously with salt and pepper.
6. When the pan is ripping hot, sear the burger 3 minutes per side. If it sticks when you go to flip, give it a little longer to cook. When there’s a minute left, lay on your Cheez-Product, pour in a splash of your beer, and cover it with a lid. When the cheese is melted, remove the burgers to a wire rack and let rest 5 minutes.
7. Wipe out the burger pan and cook your bacon while you wait for the pizzas and burger.
8. Let’s assemble this beast. It’s exactly like you think—pick your uglier pizza, lay the burger on it, top with bacon, and then your more attractive top pizza. Roll up your sleeves, take a shot of whiskey, and prepare for glory.
Beer Pairing: American Pale Ale
TACODOG (Marlins Park, Miami)
Look for flour tortillas labeled “estilo casera”—they’re fresh, a little breadier, and they’ll hold up to the demands of a tacodog much better than a sad little store-brand model. Don’t go nuts looking for the right one. A sub-optimal Tacodog is still better than anything you had for office lunch this week.
Makes 4
4 hot dogs
1 cup chili con carne (your favorite, homemade, some canned stuff—embrace whatever kind of chili snob you are)
1/2 cup shredded jicama
1/3 cup shredded carrot
1/3 cup shredded Napa cabbage
1 tablespoon honey
2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar
1 teaspoon rice vinegar
1 teaspoon peanut oil
1 1/2 teaspoons barbecue rub
1 cup cotija cheese or queso fresco
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 teaspoon fresh lime juice
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 tsp lime zest
4 flour tortillas
Cilantro, to top
1. Cut an X into the ends of each dog and preheat your grill or griddle to medium-high.
2. Heat your chili in a small saucepan. Or your microwave. Or the hot rock you bought for your late iguana. RIP Barney.
3. Make the slaw by tossing the jicama, carrot, and cabbage in a large bowl. Mix the honey, cider vinegar, rice vinegar, and peanut oil and add slowly to the vegetables. Mix thoroughly, then dust with the barbecue rub. Set aside.
4. Mix the mayo, lime juice, garlic powder, and zest. You’ve just turned the mayo into a lime aioli, which is worth about a dollar more at a hip restaurant.
5. Grill or griddle your dogs 2-3 minutes per side, until the it’s charred and the ends have bloomed out and crisped up.
6. Remove the dogs and warm your tortillas for about 30 seconds.
7. To serve, lay a dog in the tortilla and give it a delightful chili bath. Then cover it with the slaw, the cheese, and the fancy-pants aioli. Throw some cilantro on (unless you hate cilantro, which, fair game) and you’re ready to ignore the Marlins like a real Miami sports fan.
Beer Pairing: Belgian Strong Ale
BUFFALO CAULIFLOWER POUTINE (Rogers Centre, Toronto Blue Jays)
Makes 4 servings in Canada, 2 in America, 1 light afternoon snack in Chicago
1 1/2 cups cheddar cheese curds
1 1/2 cups cauliflower florets (cut to about the same size as the curds)
1 cup all-purpose flour, plus more to dredge
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup soda water or lager beer
1 egg, beaten
1 tablespoon hot sauce
Peanut oil, to fry
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour
1/4 cup chopped smoked brisket
8 ounces chicken stock
Cayenne hot sauce (Frank’s Red Hot, for example), to top
4 scallions (just the green parts), sliced thin
1. Mix the flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda in a shallow container.
2. Mix the soda, egg, and hot sauce in another container.
3. Pour some plain flour in a third container and preheat your oil to 350F.
4. While your oil heats, melt the butter in a small pan over medium heat. Add the flour bit by bit, stirring to combine evenly. Stir until a milk chocolate-colored roux forms, then add a splash of stock and the brisket. Heat through, let thicken, then adjust the texture with the remaining stock. Keep warm, stirring regularly.
5. Mix up the cauliflower and curds. Dredge the curds and cauliflower in the plain flour. Then, in small batches, shake off the excess, dip in the wet ingredients, shake off excess, and dredge in the seasoned flour. Shake that off then lower carefully into the oil.
6. Fry 2-5 minutes, depending on the size of your pot, until golden brown and crispy. Remove to a towel-lined bowl and repeat breading and frying with the remaining ingredients.
7. Lay a base of fried curds and cauliflower, then top with a ladle of brisket gravy. Shake over a generous amount of hot sauce and top with scallions.
Beer Pairing: Kolsch
Korean Pork Belly Sandwich (Multiple Ballpark Locations)
Try not to use canned pineapple for this. That’s not be being some mustache-twirling Brooklyn hipster, it’s just that the canned stuff, even packed in water, is just too damn soggy to grill properly. Find me day-drinking at a dive bar and I’ll pay you back the difference in canned domestic beer.
Makes 4
1/2 shallot, chopped
1 jalapeno, chopped (careful not to burn your hands)
2/3 cup miso paste
1/3 cup gochujang (Korean chili paste)
1 tsp fish sauce
4 slices fresh pineapple
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup dark brown sugar
2 tablespoons dark rum
1 pound roasted pork belly, sliced thick
1 cup unbleached, all-purpose flour, plus more to dredge
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon chili lime salt (or just salt—not a huge deal)
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup soda water or lager beer
1 egg, beaten
1 tablespoon hot sauce
Peanut oil, to fry
4 steak rolls or sub buns, split
1. Throw the shallot, jalapeno, miso, gochujang, and fish sauce into a blender. Blend it real good. If it brings tears to your eyes, you know it’s ready.
2. Melt the butter in a small pan and stir in the brown sugar and rum. Heat your grill to medium-low and pat your pineapple dry. Grill 5-8 minutes, turning frequently and brushing with sugar-rumbutter, until caramelized. Remove and set aside.
3. Set out three dishes, like you did with the poutine. One container of plain flour, one of the mixed flour, baking powder, chili lime salt, and soda, and one container of the soda/beer, egg, and hot sauce. Heat your oil to 350. Maybe it’s already there from the poutine. That’s excellent for you.
4. Pat the pork dry with a paper towel. Dip it in flour, shake off excess. Dip it in the wet ingredients, and shake off that excess. Then into the seasoned magic flour, shaking it off one more time. Drop it (carefully!) into the oil and fry, turning occasionally with chopsticks or tongs, 3-5 minutes, until golden brown.
5. Remove the pork to a rack and toast your buns. Chop that pineapple into bite-sized pieces. Spread both sides with funky gochujang sauce, then top with pork and pineapple.
Beer Pairing: Wheat Beer
Churro Dog (Chase Field, Arizona Diamondbacks)
Makes 6, which the FDA informs approaches a lethal dose
3 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 stick Mexican canela cinnamon (also known as Ceylon cinnamon)
1 1/8 cups water
1 1/8 cups all-purpose flour
1 egg, beaten
1 cup light brown sugar
1/2 tablespoon ground canela
Vegetable oil, for frying
4 6″ chocolate long johns, split like a hot dog bun
Bourbon-vanilla ice cream, to top
Vanilla cajeta (recipe below), to top
Caliente chocolate sauce (recipe below), to top
1. Bring the butter, salt, vanilla, cinnamon stick, and water to a boil.
2. Remove the cinnamon gradually stir in the flour, whisking constantly, until a smooth dough forms. Remove from heat, pour into a bowl, and let cool.
3. Whisk in the eggs one at a time and stir until the dough is smooth.
4. Pour the sugar and ground cinnamon into a paper bag and heat your oil to 400 in large, wide, heavy pot. Okay, I’ll just say it: use a Dutch oven. Hee hee.
5. Fill a piping bag (or a zip-top bag with the corner cut off) with the dough. Affix a star tip to the end of the piping/zip-top bag.
6. Carefully pipe 8-inch lengths of dough into the hot oil. Be careful not to overload the fryer, lest you end up with soggy churros that shame your family. Fry about 2 minutes, until golden brown, and drop them into the sugar-filled paper bag as you finish.
7. Shake that bag, man. Shake the hell out of it for all the sugary goodness you can handle.
8. Assemble the dogs by laying a churro into each long john, then topping with 4 scoops of ice cream and a generous squiggle of both the cajeta and the chocolate sauce.
Beer Pairing: Bourbon Barrel Aged Imperial Stout
Recipe: Vanilla Cajeta
1 cup goat’s milk
1 cup whole milk
1/2 cup sugar
3/4 teaspoon of cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon water
1 1/2 teaspoons of vanilla extract
1. Whisk together the milk, sugar, and cinnamon and bring to a simmer, whisking periodically.
2. In a small bowl, mix together baking soda and water until combined. Remove pot from heat and slowly whisk in baking soda. The mixture will bubble up, be careful to not let it spill over. Huge mess—we’d know.
3. When the bubbles subside, place the pot back over the heat. Bring back to a simmer, stirring frequently. Keep an eye on the heat.
4. Cook for an hour to an hour and a half, stirring frequently so the cajeta doesn’t burn at the bottom. Remove when it’s reduced by half (it will happen surprisingly quickly) and stir in the vanilla.
Recipe: Caliente Chocolate Sauce
1⁄2 cup heavy cream
3⁄4 cup chopped Mexican chocolate
1⁄2 teaspoon arbol chili powder
1⁄2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1⁄4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1. Heat the heavy cream in a medium saucepan over medium-low heat until it begins to simmer.
2. In a separate bowl, combine the chocolate, chili powder, vanilla, and cinnamon.
3. Pour the hot cream over the combined ingredients and whisk until smooth—pick one direction, clockwise or counter-clockwise, and stick with it for a more attractive result.