Roundup: Headline of the Year; Harambe Jerseys Resurrected; John Boehner's New Job

Peter Thiel vs. Chicago …College football games are getting longer  … The TSA’s bomb-sniffing dogs aren’t getting the job done … Not standing up for Pledge of Allegiance results in docked grade … Jeff Fisher to be rewarded for all his success … Customized Harambe jerseys back from the dead … 13-year-old fatally shot by police in Columbus … Aaron Rodgers has a good memory … Smoking enthusiast John Boehner takes job with tobacco company … Sheryl Sandberg as Treasury Secretary … Bill Murray taking job as bartender … Carson Wentz’s debut in context … Scary clown turns out to be hoax … People have the right to vote … Flight attendant filled with pride after seeing Sully … Fox co-presidents sign long-term deals … Might watch This Is Us … Richie Incognito has a “zen den” … Donald Trump Jr.’s gas chamber comment … From UCLA benchwarmers to TV creators … Raiders move one step closer to Las Vegas … Cup Noodles getting recipe change … Robby Gordon’s father found dead … Harley Quinn getting a spinoff … Hillary Clinton returned to the campaign trail … Wade Phillips doesn’t want to hear allegations of dirty play … Penn State’s plan to honor Joe Paterno … Brendan Dassey wants out while appeal is pending …

Free movie idea: what if Donald Trump and Tom Brady actually switched bodies? [Boston Globe]

Jay Z calls the war on drugs an “epic fail.” [New York Times]

This is wrong. Notre Dame is a Michigan State rival. Wake up, kids. [State News]

What Snowden is really about. [New Yorker]

Butt-chugging frat follow-up yields potential headline of year. [Daily Beacon]

Bills Mafia remains undefeated.

Good snake here.

Antonio Brown vs. high school defenders wasn’t fair.