Becoming Bandwagon Dallas Cowboys Fan Now Requires Paperwork

The Dallas Cowboys are once again a good football team this year, meaning the biggest bandwagon in sports is getting crowded. In a rare moment of self-awareness, the organization posted an official application to join the fan base before Sunday’s big game against Green Bay.

Previously, no paperwork was required to join this not-so-exclusive club. The membership card just came as part of the Yankees-Lakers-Notre Dame Starter jacket package. Like, LeBron James never had to do paperwork to jump aboard the Big D train.

And while I appreciate good old-fashioned social media engagement as the next guy, I can’t help but wonder if the Cowboys have opened up a dangerous Pandora’s box here. By inviting more people onto the bandwagon, they are inviting curses.

Why would they want to take the chance that someone like myself, a tortured Lions fan, would bring bad mojo and a loser’s mentality into the mix. It’s quite clear that any football team I associate is doomed. The aforementioned Lions have one playoff win since 1957. The only other team I’ve felt passion for, the Dillon Panthers, were revealed to be nothing but a fiction.

The Cowboys are playing with fire by welcoming this type of baggage on board during the playoffs. But there’s nothing they can do about it now. My paperwork is in and approved. I’m a member of the bandwagon.

There you have it. Green Bay will be advancing to the NFC Championship after ending the Cowboys’ season in Arlington. Consider it the lock of the century. You’re welcome, Packers fans.