Roundup: Chandler Parsons is a Player; Tom Herman Fired From Subway; Old Pope Has New Tricks

CNN’s FBI-White House story is the biggest of the day … Pope Francis possibly getting his talking points from Young Pope … Tom Herman once fired from Subway for stuffing face with pastrami … This really is a weak bubble …. Alan Colmes dies at 66 … David Ortiz, possible Red Sox announcer … Kelly Kapowski is cooking … Democrats in denial … U.S ramping up the nukes … Glut of good television coming in April … Richard Spencer booted from CPAC … Awesome kid gets awesome BatCave …. Jim Harbaugh still feeling the pain of late-season losses … Homer Simpson, Hall of Famer … Concerned dad calls Chandler Parsons a “ho hound” … Nerve agent killed Kim Jong Nam … Disheartening racism-in-soccer news … Major critic of Rodrigo Duterte arrested on drug charge … Will never tire of tireless NBA emoji coverage … Olivia Culpo.

If you’re still wondering if the Sacramento Kings won the Boogie Cousins trade … they didn’t. [538]

Didn’t like the NBA trade deadline? Blame LeBron James and Steph Curry. [The Ringer]

Beyonce won’t headline Coachella this year. [LA Times]

There are better things to do when bored than chopping off one’s pinky finger. [New York Daily News]

Tigers get the better of drone.

Tom Brady is having an eventful offseason.

Draymond Green with above-average trash talk to Paul Pierce.

Story of the Year — Until the Day I Die