NBA Past & Present Dominates FOX News' Problematic Spring Break Report

Spring Break was this month so college kids from all over congregated on beaches to drink. FOX News sent a team to South Padre Island, Texas to catch some of the action and then edit together a piece for some serious hand-wringing on Sean Hannity’s show. The resulting videos are below, as are screengrabs of the 25 best sports jerseys to appear in the video. Please, try to ignore the pixelated twerking.

Reggie Miller makes the first appearance.

Followed by Dirk Nowitzki. Just, two classic NBA jerseys to get things started.

This appears to be a Pacers’ George Hill jersey.

We’ve got an Allen Iverson retro Denver Nuggets jersey and a Damian Lillard jersey. Can you guess who the first – and only – baseball player to show up will be?

That’s right – Kris Bryant. Pair that with an Iowa State Cyclones visor and you have a strong Mid-Westerner statement combination.

USA basketball.

Kevin Durant shirtsy.

Ben Simmons with more Spring Break appearances than NBA appearances.

Can’t tell, but I hope it’s a Drew Gooden jersey.

Kobe!

Another unidentified. Especially difficult because of the colors. Also, there’s a Team USA jersey on the side.

And here is the winner of the video. A guy in a VERNON MAXWELL jersey. Incredible.

LeBron James makes a brief appearance in the background.

Iverson on the Sixers.

The most recent example I can find of an Iowa player wearing #44 is Cyrus Tate from ’06-’09. No wonder they ended the first segment here. Part 2 on the next page.

The next night there was a follow-up report with more kids drinking and dancing on the beach during spring break. Oh, the horror.

Yes, that’s a classic Houston Astros jersey.

Some kind of Michael Jordan jersey. Wait. From another angle that is definitely not a Bulls jersey. This doesn’t count.

Ignore the text because after a few glances I believe that’s a Bel Air Academy jersey from Fresh Prince.

Anybody? I assume this is an NBA players high school jersey, but can’t place it.

Steph makes a brief cameo.

Ron Artest on the Rockets.

Charles Barkley. If only the Mad Max jersey had been a Kenny Smith jersey this would be a strong showing for TNT.

Another Blazers jersey. Presumably, this is another Damian Lillard, but I’m not ruling out Nurkic.

Finally, Kevin Durant in OKC. What better place to end this.