Paul Pierce Needs Help with Analogies, Because this Kevin Durant Bullies Thing is Embarrassingly Bad

And the winner for worst Kevin Durant-joins-the-Warriors analogy is … Paul Pierce! Let’s hear from the guy who won his only title thanks to a Super Team, then proceeded to chase rings in Brooklyn, Washington and with the Clippers:

That makes no sense, and really, it’s not even worth mocking, that’s how bad it is.

Maybe this has to do with Draymond Green talking trash to Pierce earlier this season? That was A+ trash talk:

Let’s quickly go back in time: Paul Pierce was 29 years old and had spent nine years with the Celtics. He was headed down the path of being Really Nice Career Guy – seven straight years averaging 20+ points per game – which in the NBA can get you into the Hall of Fame.

And then, Pierce got lucky: Danny Ainge created a Super Team and Boston surged past LeBron in the East. Title. Another trip to the Finals. A great run thanks to Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett.

Then, when the Celtics had to blow it up because LeBron created his own monster in Miami, Pierce was fine getting traded to Brooklyn – with Garnett – to join forces with one of the best young point guards in the NBA, Deron Williams.

Didn’t work out.

Next up: Washington! They had the mini Splash Brothers in John Wall and Brad Beal … but Pierce had no idea their relationship was toxic at the time, and said as much on his way out the door.

After that, it was off to the Clippers to play with Chris Paul, DeAndre Jordan and Blake Griffin. You know how that worked out.

So Pierce, I’ll give you a 2nd chance: Want to work on that analogy?