Nation's Dwight Howards Announce Plan To Begin Shooting 3-Pointers

Saying they can feel their relevance slipping away with each passing day, America’s Dwight Howards, a dwindling collective of broad-shouldered big men who lack perimeter skills, announced Tuesday their plans to begin shooting 3-pointers, perhaps as early as next season.

The last few years hard on Dwight Howards. Defined by their ability to “score on the block,” “dunk,” “draw the double team,” and, “own the paint,” Dwight Howards rose to prominence for the majority of basketball history. Thanks to the dominance of Dwight Howards like David Robinson, Shawn Kemp, and Alonzo Mourning in the 1990s, Dwight Howards were some of the most sought after basketball players in the world when Dwight Howard entered the NBA in 2005.

But in this decade Dwight Howards have found themselves increasingly marginalized by smaller, more versatile and more efficient players. By Dwight Howard’s estimation, the only other Dwight Howard left in the league is DeAndre Jordan of the Clippers.

Combined, Howard and Jordan are a combined 6-for-67 from the 3-point line in their careers, including a 5-for-56 mark for Howard himself.