Happy Birthday to Tom Brady, Who is Definitely Not Weird at All Based on These Stories

Want to feel old? Today is Tom Brady’s 40th birthday. It’s a major milestone to celebrate and ESPN’s Mike Reiss put together a spectacular collection of the best behind-the-scene Brady stories for the occassion. A unifying theme is how they all seem so cool because Brady is involved whereas some average joe doing this nutty stuff would just be considered a combative guy with a screw loose.

To wit:

"Bill Belichick, Patriots head coach, 2000-present: “When we played golf at Pebble Beach two years ago, on the sixth hole, it’s a big cliff. He’s literally standing out there on the ledge, trying to hit the ball. The caddie is holding him so he won’t like tumble 300 feet to his death into the Pacific Ocean. It’s a golf ball. But I think that’s kind of the competitiveness of Tom. I’m sure there’s a picture of it. I’m thinking to myself, ‘What the hell are you doing?'”"

Brady literally put his life in a random caddie’s hands so he could play it as it lies while dangling near death Broadchurch style? That is insane. This is a man with a wife and children. He was also a four-time Super Bowl champion inordinately responsible for the happiness of an overwhelming majority of males in the New England area. If he had died trying to save himself a stroke, well, it wouldn’t have been worth it.

Thing is, it’s totally believable given Belichick’s aversion to dramatics and the scores of other bizarre tales spun involving Brady.

The full article is definitely worth reading and includes several examples of the future Hall of Famers interpersonal skills. This one is also great.

"Mike Vrabel, Patriots linebacker, 2001-08: “My indoctrination to the goal-line [offense]: I had maybe caught a couple touchdowns and was feeling pretty good about myself, and we went to practice one day and I broke free on a crossing route or something like that. So I start yelling, ‘Tom! Tom! Tom!’ and I’m waving my hands. But he doesn’t throw it to me. I come back, and we’re in the huddle when he says, ‘Mikey, if you ever wave your f—in’ hands and ask for the ball again, I’ll never throw it to you. I know who’s open. I’m the quarterback, I’ll throw it to whoever the f— I want!’ That was the last time I ever called for the ball.”"

Happy birthday, Tom Brady. If you ever change your weird ways again, we’ll never forgive you. You’re the eccentric quarterback, you do whatever the f—- you want and people will love you for it. Here’s hoping your magic sleepwear and spaceman diet allows you to play until age 50.