Last night’s penultimate Bachelor episode was the one where Arie gets to spend quality fantasy suite time with not one, not two, but three women. Everything went as smoothly as can be expected when one is diversifying one’s portfolio, until trouble cropped up the morning after Arie’s third tryst. Becca K.’s former long-term boyfriend showed up unexpected to Peru toting some cheap flowers and a harebrained plan. He was going to win her back — not with words — but by … traveling a long way, I guess?
His name was Ross and he had that one popular haircut guys have. When he first appeared on the screen, my immediate reaction was to check the New England Patriots depth chart to see if he was one of their undersized slot receivers who looks like that. Alas, no dice. But my instinct was somewhat correct in that he is connected with a successful football program.
Turns out the unsuccessful Romeo is Ross Jirgl, a sports performance coach for Stanford. Jirgl played linebacker at Minnesota State and has had previous posts at South Alabama, Wisconsin-Green Bay, and Indiana State.
And he’s famous now. Against all odds, lots of people think he came off well last night with his unsuccessful and completely unnecessary international trip. They liked the way he awkwardly talked to Arie about the girl they both love and put together sentences. They liked the way Becca immediately dismissed him. They liked the way he wasted his time and money when he could have simply sent a text.
There’s chatter Ross here can be the next Bachelor, which is great for him. But I’ll tell you what: things are going to be absolutely brutal for him around the Cardinal weight room. This is a man who must deal with teens, who have an unmatched ability to zing. They will never let this go, just like he will never let Becca go.