LeBron Is Boring, That's All

Because he’s rich, famous, and one of the best athletes of all time, you may at some point make the mistake of thinking LeBron James is cool. But I am here to tell you he is not. He is actually quite boring.

LeBron finishing his career with the Los Angeles Lakers is the lamest thing. No offense to the Lakers or to Los Angeles, it’s just that James signing with the Lakers is the basketball equivalent of your dad going to the Chevy dealership and coming back with a Silverado.

What a surprise, Dad. Way to strike out on your own. 

Just as there is nothing wrong with an Silverado, there is nothing wrong with the Los Angeles Lakers. The Lakers can tow more than 10,000 pounds, they have nice interiors, and the gas mileage is actually pretty decent these days. It’s a good, solid choice. The choice you make when you’ve pretty much had it with making choices, and you just don’t want to get laughed at.

LeBron seems like a good guy, probably a good friend, probably messages everybody on their birthday and makes sure to compliment the cooking before ducking out at 8:30 and talking about having a big day in the morning.

What can you say?

How can you be mad?

What legitimate criticism of this decision could you possible make?

LeBron to the Lakers.

OK, cool, man, later.