Jose Abreu Recovering From Worst Injury Ever

Jose Abreu is recovering after having surgery last month and the Chicago White Sox expect him back in the lineup by mid-September. So just what ailment felled the large Cuban slugger? You may not want to know.

On Tuesday, Abreu confirmed he had testicle torsion and needed to undergo emergency surgery on August 21. Don’t know what testicle torsion is? I’ll let Abreu explain it to you as casually as humanly possible:

"“It was one of my testicles turned sideways and was strangled. The doctor had to perform emergency surgery to save it. I never thought about it, but it was serious.”"

GAH! Nope, nope, nope, nope, NOPE!

The 31-year-old says he’s now feeling good (there’s no way that’s true) and thanked his doctors and the staff at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago.

Abreu is leading the White Sox in home runs (22), RBI (78) and testicle surgeries (one) this season, so they are looking forward to having him back.