The Super Bowl Snack Map Stinks

The uniquely searched Super Bowl foods by state have been identified through the use of Google Trends, slapped on a map, and disseminated to the unwashed masses. Here’s what it looks like. You’ve likely seen it on your feed over the past few days, paused to find your state, then wondered what in the name of white chicken chili is going on over in State X, Y, or Z.

Because reading is 1) a lost art and 2) no one cares enough to look at a legend in the year 2019, the map is being billed as the “most popular Super Bowl snacks” in a given state. Even the media has fallen victim to this characterization.

If it is explained, it’s deep into the copy. And, I, for one, have completely had it with this graphic. Get it out of my face. Take it away because it stinks.

Let’s just imagine, for a second, the logical leap necessary to accept that the “most popular” Super Bowl edible in Mississippi is granola bars. Or that North Carolina is so neck-deep in Cobb Salad for the big game everyone wakes up with a blue cheese hangover. Or Montanians are waiting on the edge of their seat for that blessed Super Bowl tradition: lentil soup.

This is infuriating, like so many of these made-for-going-viral U.S. maps. Like a certificate to young Bobby Fisher, they mean nothing. They exist only to be shared on social media as a means to look down at the weird items other states’ residents allegedly love.

Look at New York, for instance. Home of Buffalo and the buffalo wing. Perhaps you’ve heard of it as a Super Bowl snack. This map has spinach dip. A delicious item to be sure but certainly not the calling card of football soirees from Syracuse to Westchester.

I personally know dozens of people in Massachusetts who would tune you up for bringing gluten-free pretzels to a Patriots watch party. This is not the snack of a dynastic, blue-collar team and fanbase. Tom Brady’s eating habits have not permeated the local culture to such an extreme.

Pea and peppercorn mash? Surely this delicious. But if that’s what’s being served in New Mexico instead of actual party food, we all have a big problems on our hands.

Cancel this map. Eat something delicious during the Super Bowl. Rest easy knowing most normal people aren’t eating what this map would have you believe their eating. Never think of it again.