I Can't Get Over How Many Eggs This Guy Has For Breakfast

Fox News did the thing where it goes to diners and interviews aggrieved Boomers this morning because it’s a day ending in Y. The staid and predictable bit happened to accidentally yield television gold, though, when a retired trucker named Johnny got his big moment.

Now, the content of this interview is rather boilerplate. But ladies and gentleman, what is not normal is the copious amount of protein on this guy’s plate. Even by the most conservative estimate, that’s 10 eggs. It could be up to baker’s dozen.

This is Babe Ruth stuff. The Rock training to get even bigger for the next Fast & Furious movie stuff. Bill Murray did the same thing in Groundhog Day when he realized his life had no meaning beyond midnight.

Let me say with absolute sincerity that I wish I were living like this. Waking up and diving into double-digit eggs before 7 a.m. without the burden of thinking about cholesterol sounds like pure bliss.

Bless you, Eggman, for going confidently in the direction of your dreams.