The 10 Best and Worst Halloween Candies
By The Big Lead
Halloween is this weekend and it's the time of year when candy is at the front of everyone's mind. Since we're just as crazy about candy as you, the crack team at The Big Lead put our heads together, polled the virtual office and came up with our lists of the best and worst Halloween candies.
Enjoy responsibly.
Best Halloween Candy
1. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
It's the top-selling brand in America for a reason. Nothing is as versatile as Reese's which takes the form of whatever holiday you wish, but no matter what, the peanut butter cup remains right there at the counter. No matter the size, the taste is unbeatable. - Stephen Douglas
2. Snickers
Is Snickers really this good or is it just the candy with three decades of excellent advertising? - Douglas
3. Twix
One of the weirder recent commercial choices is Twix leaning into a spirit of division with the whole Right Twix, Left Twix thing. There may be an ultimate message of unity there but that's asking an awful lot from people trying to fast-forward through the latest episode of The Voice to process. Anyway, this candy bar utilizes caramel better than any other foodstuff. Scraping the upper layer off with your top front teeth to reveal a pristine, bone-colored cookie is a timeless delight. As an added bonus, the fun-sized bite is the perfect amount of Twix because a full-size Twix can be a bit much. - Kyle Koster
4. Kit Kat
A timeless option. No candy executes chocolate and crunchy wafer like a Kit Kat. Candy is not often associated with the crunch sound, but there are few food experiences more satisfying than the first chomp of a singular Kit Kat bar. Points must also be given to the pleasing aesthetic, not seen in any other sweet edible item. More bars in more places. - Liam McKeone
5. 3 Musketeers
Pleasantly surprised and delighted to see what is a criminally underrated option sneak up to the Top-5. Now we see if the trio pulls a Wisconsin and is inexplicably upset by an also-ran to ruin any shot at playoff contention. Here's the dirty little secret about the preferred sugar fix of D'Artagnan, Athos, Aramis, and Porthos: it's healthy! Check the fat and sugar content the next time you're indulging. Say goodbye to the guilt! - Koster
6. 100 Grand
Oh, wow, another remarkable candy cutting through the noise to claim its rightful seat at the head table. People forget just how damn good these things are. Ironically, you cannot put a price on deliciousness. - Koster
7. PayDay
PayDay is a wildly underrated candy bar. It's a simple combination: caramel and peanuts, with nothing else to screw it up. Everyone should go have one right now -- unless you have a nut allergy, in which case this could be quite dangerous. - Ryan Phillips
8. Starburst
There's a lot of range with Starburst. Unlike with M&M's, the flavors vary by color. So you can love one color and be disgusted by another. They come in individual wrappings in sleeves, like delicious, gummy crackers. But until you start chewing, they can be used as a serious projectile that could put someone's eye out. Luckily, you have something tasty to comfort the newly blinded with. - Douglas
9. Sour Patch Kids
One has to appreciate the versatility of the Kids. Not only do they earn a nod on this list, they are near the top of any sober ranking of movie theater fructose. And how about those bigass Sour Patches? I like pretending a normal gummi fell into a vat of nuclear waste and grew to unusual size. Makes me feel like STRONG MAN. - Koster
10. Baby Ruth
Sure, Baby Ruth may just be a poor man's Snickers bar, but peanuts, chocolate, caramel and nougat is never a losing combination. Plus, how many candy bars would let a movie lean into the fact that it looks like something left in a toilet by your pear-shaped uncle. We appreciate Baby Ruth's wit and ability to laugh at itself. - Phillips
Worst Halloween Candy
1. Almond Joy
Coconut and almonds together? That's practically healthy and who the hell wants that out of a candy bar? Coating something in chocolate to cover its awful contents won't make me want to eat it. Handing me an Almond Joy is basically the equivalent of giving me a homework assignment. - Phillips
2. Candy Corn
Best vegetable, but worst candy. It's a multicolored contradiction. Perhaps if they had jumped straight to candy pumpkins, and skipped over the smaller, slightly less seasonal corn, this candy wouldn't inspire such strong reactions. Alas, candy corn seems universally reviled. - Douglas
3. Good & Plenty
Are we sure this candy is not still in production as part of an elaborate prank on society? The damn stuff tastes like something Roald Dahl and his schoolmates hand to their boarding school headmaster to make him ill. My young son saw the bros from Dude Perfect mention it one time and insisted on trying it himself and now we can't look each other in the eye. More like Bad & Plenty. - Koster
4. Tootsie Rolls
Really just an underwhelming option and a favorite of that one house in the neighborhood that likes to pretend they're generous with their candy, but really just go for quantity over quality. They're not horrible, because chocolate is still chocolate, but Tootsie Rolls are the eighth batter in the lineup. Once in a long while, you'll be presently surprised, but the rest of the time you're just waiting to get through it so you can enjoy the better options. - McKeone
5. SweeTARTS
SweeTARTS are supposed to be sour then sweet. The problem? They're not sour enough to start and not sweet enough to finish. The sourness starts off promising but never delivers on its premise and the sweet on the back half never lives up to the hype. It's a completely unsatisfying experience that leaves you angry and confused in the end. It truly is the Dexter of candy (without a weird reboot... for now). - Phillips
6. Smarties
These taste about what I imagine the pills Bradley Cooper takes in Limitless taste like but without the additive benefit of advanced brain power. False advertising. - Koster
7. Circus Peanuts
An abomination that shouldn't even be classified as candy. I imagine eating Circus Peanuts is very similar to eating fiberglass insulation. Or cardboard. Who even thought people wanted circus peanuts in a sweet form anyway? Who is responsible for this? What are they even made of? Making tasty candy should be easy as long as you have enough sugar and they even screwed that up. Feel ashamed if you're giving out Circus Peanuts at your home. - McKeone
8. Nerds
Nerds are what would happen if Skittles were actually just rocks that were all the same flavor and somehow sucked more. - Phillips
9. Wax Lips
You know what's more appetizing than Wax Lips? Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts. If you get that, you're too old for trick-or-treating. - Koster
10. Pixy Stix
In theory this should be a celebration of streamlined efficiency. Just pure sugar. But if we've learned anything, it's that candy is more than just the rush. It's the whole process. Presentation and story matter. Pixy Stix are dangerously close to just doing drugs. There's no magic, only a high. - Koster