2014 World Cup Wags Best XI

The 2014 World Cup begins today! The WAGs Best XI post was a hit for Euro 2012. It seemed prudent to resurrect it here. We’ll just get on with it since you aren’t reading the text anyway.

GK: Sara Carbonero [Iker Casillas – Spain] Carbonero is a Spanish TV presenter. Iker going for the impromptu kiss was one of the highlights of Spain’s 2010 World Cup win.

D: Polly Parsons [Tomas Vermaelen – Belgium] Parsons is a British TV presenter, who also does a lot of modeling work in lingerie for some reason.

D: Shakira [Gerard Pique – Spain] It took a significantly older woman to tame one of Barcelona’s most notorious partiers. She’s 38. He’s just 27. Perhaps they bonded over denim? (Insert comment about hips here.)

D: Sam Cooke [Chris Smalling – England] Cooke is a “Page 3 Model” in England, which is apparently a profession.

D: Ludivine Kadri Sagna [Bacary Sagna – France] Mrs. Sagna is some form of model and takes a lot of selfies on Twitter.

M: Yolanthe Sneijder-Cabau [Wesley Sneijder – Netherlands] Wesley Sneijder’s wife is a half-Spanish half-Dutch actress. She’s in “Pain and Gain” with Mark Wahlberg and the Rock. They were married just days after the Netherlands lost the 2010 World Cup Final.

M: Lena Gercke [Sami Khedira – Germany] Gercke was Germany’s Next Top Model winner in 2006.

M: Melissa Satta [Kevin-Prince Boateng – Ghana] Satta is an Italian model and Kevin Prince Boateng’s fiancée. She once attributed his thigh injury to excessive sex.

F: Ann Kathrin-Brommel [Mario Goetze – Germany] Ms. Kathrin Brommel is some sort of model. She was also present for the infamous banana hammock incident.

F: Fanny Neguesha [Mario Balotelli – Italy] They’re engaged! She is a Belgian model.

F: Irina Shayk [Cristiano Ronaldo – Portugal] Shayk is a world-renowned Russian supermodel. The two posed naked together in a clear power couple shot across the Beckhams’ bow.