Bill Belichick Confirms He is Not a Scientist, Has "handled dozens of balls over the past week"

The New England Patriots called a surprise press conference this afternoon to give an update on DeflateGate.

Coach Bill Belichick spoke at length about the team’s process in regard to handling footballs. It was basically a bizarre version of a Sports Science segment.

In summation: Belichick and the Patriots believe they complied with league rules and want this storyline over.

“I believe now 100 percent that I have personally and we as an organization have followed every rule to the letter,” Belichick said.

He then went on to talk about PSI, the texture of footballs, the rubdown process, atmospheric pressure, the similarities between footballs and car tires and the painstaking internal investigation the team has conducted since this story broke.

At times he sounded more like Bill Nye than an NFL coach, although he did admit he was not an actual scientist.

I’d say it was surreal but surreal doesn’t really do it justice.

Belichick added his team has earned the right to be in the Super Bowl by beating two good football teams in the playoffs and that this is the last time he’ll speak about this topic in “a long time.”

Along the way he dropped a magnificent My Cousin Vinny reference.

So that settles it, right? People will surely stop talking about this issue now.

Full audio.

[Vine via Matt Norlander]