Craig Carton Had Some Weird Thoughts on Dak Prescott Becoming a Father

Over the weekend Sarah Jane Ramos revealed on Instagram that she is expecting a child with her boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott, in March. It's going to be a girl. Beautiful stuff and an exciting time for the couple and those who love them.

Three days later Craig Carton caught wind of this and turned the news into some very strange television — even by early-morning, hey-when-you-remember-who-this-guy-is-it's-sort-of-weird-that-he-has-a-lot-of-high-profile-jobs standards.

"That's a mistake," Carton said upon learning of the the expected child. "What? Why'd you tell me that? That changes everything. There goes the Cowboys' season. I'm a big fan of fatherhood, I'm blessed with four beautiful, healthy children ... this is a terrible distraction now for Dak Prescott. He's not married, right? So now I gotta question is she a gold digger? She might not be. I gotta question it, right? Alright, number three, you've got everything going great. The last thing you need now is the distraction."

What year is it?

Now, not to get too into the weeds with how babies are made, but there's a pretty good chance that Prescott knew he was going to be a father well before Carton. And well before the regular season even started. So it clearly hasn't been a distraction for months as he's put his team in great shape to take a run at the NFC's top seed. Even if Prescott had been surprised as the general public by news that he'll soon be a dad, does anyone actually think it would have any impact on his game. Like, 4:25 p.m. Sunday rolls around and Dak is unable to formulate words in the huddle because he's going to have a child in several months?

The chain of events that had to happen for this to be a segment of television boggles the mind. But hey, congrats to the happy couple.