Cristiano Ronaldo: Portuguese Call of Hat Trick Included High-Pitched Shrieking, Lasers

Cristiano Ronaldo scored a hat trick during Tuesday’s World Cup playoff with Sweden, ensuring Portugal would qualify for next summer’s tournament in Brazil. It was the type of super-human display worthy of all the hyperbole in the world to describe it.

Or, if you’re a Portuguese television announcer, it allows you to completely lose your shit on the air as the clip above demonstrates. These calls are like Ray Hudson on crank and devolve into nothing more than an adult man screaming “Ronaldo!” followed by some unintelligible babbling — probably the exact reaction of most folks watching the game in Portugal.

Oh right there are also laser sound effects thrown in for good measure.

Watching this might serve as a reminder to never complain about Gus Johnson calling soccer games again.