Animal Doctor Tells Mysterious, Erotic Tale on 'The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz'

Dr. Ron Magill, an animal expert, hopped on The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz this morning for his weekly segment because nothing makes someone driving in their car stay on a station more than the jubilant first measures of The Lion King's Circle of Life. Like any number of songs from The 1975, the conversation veered toward sex. Magill was quick with a story about the time he caught more than two people learning about the birds and bees in the aviary round room of all places.

Would you like more details? Would some narrative flourishes aid you in understanding exactly what type of consensual and inequitable acts were being undertaken by the various actors? Well, you're in luck, because Magill helpfully painted a word picture.

After listening to this a few times, I can indeed confirm that Magill proceeded to search adult sites using associated terminology in the hopes of spotting the footage should it be posted online for others to use as inspiration or a misguided way to understand the migratory patterns of the yellow-bellied sapsucker. A successful endeavor eventually, as proven by the unmistakable background of the filming location and confirmed by a security guard who surely told their romantic partner about a particularly odd day at work later.

This is going above and beyond the call of duty. A less committed individual wouldn't have done such a thing to their search history. Some of those keywords sound an awful lot like things that land you on a no-fly list or, at the very least, not welcome in Pet Smart anymore.

Why don't more sports shows have animal doctors on? These are the stories they're missing out of while dissecting Carson Wentz's average yards intended or if Joe Burrow has the It Factor or whatever. Seems shortsighted, especially for any regional drive-time joint that already fashions itself a bit of a Morning Zoo.