Eagles Analyst's Idea to Fix Team: No Sex for the Players
By Kyle Koster
The defending Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles are 2-3 in the wake of a home loss to the Minnesota Vikings. Carson Wentz’s return has done little to inject life into a once-powerful offense. That unit has scored 23 or fewer points in every contest and is averaging 20.6 points/game. All five have been decided by one score and nothing’s come easy.
The always level-headed sports fans of Philadelphia are reacting with their usual calm concern, and the media is following suit. Here’s Fox 29’s Garry Cobb with his prescription.
@GarryCobb says the @Eagles players need to cease from taking part in any ‘bedroom’ activities until further notice.
— FOX 29 (@FOX29philly) October 8, 2018
That’s what we in the sports business call a “Bold Strategy” pic.twitter.com/X2BIYPJbGJ
The former Eagles linebacker wants the players to stop having sex and focus on football. This would likely be an unpopular position in the locker room.
The myth that abstinence translates into better athletic performance has been debunked, yet remains a popular idea among this country’s meanest football coaches. That said, it would be wild to see how a professional football franchise would enforce such a rule.
It feels a bit premature for such a major behavioral change at this point, but a few more losses may put the Eagles in a desperate times-desperate measures situation.