Giancarlo Stanton's Contract: What Could $325 Million Buy For You?

The Miami Marlins and Giancarlo Stanton finally, officially announced their 13-year, $325 million pact at a press conference Wednesday. No doubt Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria enjoyed a week’s worth of $325 million headlines, if only to point to all his critics and yell, “SEE I SPEND MONEY, EVEN WHEN TAXPAYERS AREN’T INVOLVED, DAMMIT.”

Anyways, since most people are still trying to wrap their heads around $325 million figure let’s have a little fun and speculate on what all that cash could buy, not taking taxes, inflation, etc. into account.

With $325 million you could hypothetically …

— Buy 32,532,532 copies of Taylor Swift’s 1989 album off Amazon.com
— Film the 1995 classic, Waterworld, 1.88 times.
— Purchase 382,803 iPhone 6 Pluses (64 GB, no contract).
— Drive 5,250 new 2015 BMW X6 with the Sport Utility package.
— Horde 273,338 ounces of gold.
— Load up on 113,517,289 gallons of gas.
— Take 1,400 trips on Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic spacecraft.
— Embrace your inner Kenny Powers and buy 37,576 of those water-powered jet packs.

— Buy 1,817,266 copies of The Sopranos box set on Blu Ray.
— Build 13 or so really ridiculous roller coasters in your back yard.
— Buy 10 complete Gutenberg Bibles.
— Start a website (Giancarlo-Feed?) and employ over 600 bloggers for the life of the 13-year contract [this was a Lisk creation, blame him]
— Acquire a whole lot of pudding.

Yes, you could mix-and-match since you probably don’t need more than 41,000 iPhones at any given time. Obviously you could also make prudent investments in the stock market or real estate along with setting up trust funds for the next eight generations of your family while donating a whole lot to various charitable causes, but where’s the fun in that when you can buy thousand jet packs all at once?