If Lewis Hamilton Goes to Ferrari I'm Going to Get Rid of My Mercedes

Lewis Hamilton is leaving Mercedes and joining Ferrari next year. As an American sports fan this is highly concerning. Lewis Hamilton has been at Mercedes since 2013 - or before most American F1 fans even started following the sport! And now he's going to a rival team that has also been around since long before we started caring about F1? Absolutely unthinkable.

As a hip American, F1 is very important to me. And Lewis Hamilton was an obvious choice for a favorite driver because he had a very American name and is the all-time leader in Formula One victories. Obviously he inspired me to buy Mercedes. Now I'll look like a complete fool when I drive around in my Mercedes. So I think I need to get rid of my Mercedes. Good thing they have such incredible resale value!

See, this is why F1 drivers shouldn't have a transfer portal. Sure, I'll have a lot of money once I offload my Mercedes, I'm just going to end up getting a Ferrari instead and I'm pretty sure that's not going to save me much money in the long run.

You know, being a fan of this sport is kind of expensive. I really hope one of these professional pickleball leagues takes off soon so I can try to get out of this new lease. Preferably before Hamilton moves again and I have to find a McLaren or Aston Martin dealership.