Joe Kelly Did His Very Best to Piss Off the Houston Astros, Succeeded

It took five games for the Houston Astros to find their way into a bench-clearing situation and all that waiting wasn't really worth it because there was no brawl to speak of. But tempers did run a bit high last night with the Los Angeles Dodgers in town.

Joe Kelly took the mound with a three-run lead in the sixth inning and fell behind Alex Bregman, 3-0. The fourth pitch of the at-bat sailed behind the sign-stealing enthusiast's head, leaving little debate as to its intention. Later in the inning, Kelly threw a breaking ball that didn't break and whizzed past Carlos Correa's noggin. After eventually fanning Correa, Kelly apparently did his best Newman impression.

Only he didn't say 'pretty boy.' He allegedly said [expletive]. And Correa, as you might imagine, didn't much care for this.

Calmer heads and socially-distanced protocols eventually prevailed. The two teams play tonight and it is a very good bet that the Astros will be seeking some type of revenge.

Kelly maintains that his pitch to Bregman was an accident but if you believe that then you probably believe all that banging in the Houston dugout during the playoff series was due to their love of the off-Broadway musical Stomp!

Here's a live look at you, dear reader, processing that stale joke.

The ol' I have bad control excuse is super weird when you think about it because that's a big part of the job description for a pitcher.

It's difficult to find one's self on the Astros' side but here we are. Quite a head-turning turn of events precipitated by a head-turning event.