Logan Roy Eulogies Ranked
Logan Roy's funeral finally aired last night. There were several speakers. Some announced, some unannounced, some denied the opportunity to speak at all because it could open us up to legal action. Overall, through the words of three children and a sib, we got a pretty clear picture of the man.
Very good businessing. Very loud at yelling. Tough on women. Saw some bad shit as a child. Also built some other bad shit as an adult. But somebody had to do it and he did and we think we loved him and think he loved us. And isn't that what makes a great father?
With all that in mind, here are the official rankings for the various Logan Roy eulogies from Succession, Season 4, Episode 9, "Church and State."
N/R: Connor Roy
Depriving fans of another Connor Roy eulogy is a borderline crime against prestige TV. Sure, this one appeared at first read to be a little long and hard to follow, but it's formally inventive, which is what people would have liked about it. It couldn't have been much worse than Mo's eulogy.
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4. Roman Roy
Kieran Culkin did not rehearse this scene. There is awards show buzz. It was a great performance showing a little boy come to grips with the death of his father. But as far as a eulogy goes? Shuffling your index cards briefly before dropping an F-bomb and walking off the stage to ask if the body can be removed is certainly memorable, but good? No. I think we all expected a little more from the King of Dongs.
kieran culkin’s performance is so devastatingly beautiful #succession pic.twitter.com/Z7L51ogx4j
— ivy (mourning succession) (@ohhhhherewego) May 22, 2023
3. Shiv Roy
When your father's estranged wife, ex-wife, and two mistresses are seated together in the front row, you don't really need to talk about how bad he was with women. We get it. Logan was a complicated man who didn't like his kids making so much noise while he was trying to make kings. But sometimes... sometimes he would be nice and well, that felt pretty good. Even if you aren't sure there was actually anything good about him.
this sequence...shiv acknowledging the unique difficulty of being logan’s daughter, the cut to karolina and gerri after “he was hard on women,” then the shift in focus to kendall, who spent the morning taking a wrecking ball to some of his most important relationships with women pic.twitter.com/n320ozeFwg
— rachel | succession spoilers (@princekendalll) May 22, 2023
2. Ewan Roy
This was incredibly powerful. Just a lot of real talk from Uncle Ewan who was able to evade Greg and get in a shot at the shareholders before briefly humanizing and then ultimately ethering his dead brother. Family can be tricky, but as Greg said, that was a good, hard take.
1. Kendall Roy
The number one boy nailed it. For the second time this season, Kendall stepped up when Roman backed out. Kendall was having a very rough day, but knocked it out of the park, reminding everyone that his dad did some important stuff and he really hoped that he had whatever dog inside of him that was previously in the old man.
the way jeremy strong can deliver a monologue and lay his emotions bare in such a subtle way will be studied by actors for ages and i will be cheering when he wins that emmy this year pic.twitter.com/mrScXSrkF4
— jay | succession spoilers (@kendallhosseini) May 22, 2023
By the time Kendall was done, so was Roman. By laying his father to rest he took back the Succession crown. Just gotta kill that billions of dollars deal, but that's just a formality. Take him to the home of the CEO, Fikret.