We've Lost A Lot of Good Pasta Sauce This Week
By Kyle Koster
It is with a heavy heart that I blog this morning, hat in hand like a state trooper, to inform you that we lost a lot of good pasta sauce to our nation's highways yesterday. Seeing a delicious white or red cut short before it could reach its prime or realize the joy that comes with cascading over penne or farfalle is simply devastating.
In Memphis, Tennessee, a tractor-trailer stuffed to the gills with creamy Alfredo sauce spilled its contents all over I-55 like an overly exuberant Olive Garden line cook. It was horrifying. Yet oddly appetizing.
Memphis, TN police say a tractor-trailer spilled Alfredo sauce all over I-55 pic.twitter.com/1gJlWdZxFv
— Parker Branton (@ParkerBranton) August 30, 2022
This came as a country was still on its heels, reeling from the senseless calamity in California on Monday when a produce truck carrying perfectly ripe tomatoes crashed through a highway median barrier and turned an interstate into an edible nightmare.
Squashed tomatoes covered part of an interstate in Vacaville, California, on Monday, August 29, after a truck carrying the produce crashed through the highway median barrier, local officials said. Credit: @Drew_G00dy via Storyful pic.twitter.com/L7EDAGRqYN
— WNCT (@wnct9) August 30, 2022
One more incident and we have a certified New York Times trend piece dropping. Perhaps Arthur Fleck was right and it is getting crazier out there. I'm not a particularly religious person but back-to-back calamities like simply has to be a sign from above. Or some weird, actually-not-so-bad plagues.
One thing is clear. Any trucker transporting pesto, bolognese, or the components of aglio e olio needs to have their head on a swivel out there today, and their foot ready to mash the breaks. (Sauce Gardner should also be careful out there.) It's been a bad week for those who want to see pasta sauce have a safe, uneventful journey from garden to table. People are understandably on edge.