Soccer Announcer Bravely Forgoes Euphemisms, Says 'Penis'
By Kyle Koster
Whenever a male athlete has the misfortune to absorb a shot to the groin, announcers are right there to deliver workshopped euphemisms to explain what has happened. The player has always sustained a blow "below the belt" or "to a sensitive area" or "where you don't want to get hit." But a young visionary, on the record in believing that the time has come for us all to be adults and rely on proper anatomical terms, may have just changed everything.
Here's Chris Wittyngham, a producer for Meadowlark Media and play-by-play voice for assorted MLS and Liga MX matches, explaining that Orlando City goalkeeper Pedro Gallese had been hit in the penis after he was hit in the penis stopping a shot.
This could be a watershed moment, folks. Our most trusted and venerable announcers can follow in Wittyngham's footsteps and call a spade a spade from now on. Could be a brave new world free of "man regions" and "where the sun doesn't shines."
If so, what a legacy.