The Chicago White Sox Are in Complete Shambles

You know that beloved tweet about Mike Trout hitting three home runs and raising his batting average to .528 while Shohei Ohtani did something for the first time since Tungsten Arm O'Doyle and the 1921 Akron Grossmen only to see the Tigers defeat the Angels, 8-3? Well, we're getting perilously close to needing one for the Chicago White Sox, who don't just lose game but instead opt to set them on fire with a self-destructive streak we haven't seen in mainstream sports for some time.

Last night potential salad enthusiast Lance Lynn carried a no-hitter and a 3-0 lead into the seventh inning against the Tampa Bay Rays. It appeared that the White Sox's empirically gross nine-game losing streak would be killed. And then the visitors scored 10 runs in the frame and the slide reached double digits. Chicago is now 7-21 on the year and, honestly, sprinting toward the end of whatever type of window they had as an immensely talented side with championship aspirations.

Because this is what falling apart looks like. It looks like bungling the Tony La Russa thing from Day 1. It sounds like some sports radio caller giving a better performance than the one on display on the South Side. It feels like Luis Robert embarrassing himself and everyone else by loafing down the first base-line and refusing to collect an infield single.

The assembled crowd hated this because the beer can only do so much numbing. Robert's manager Pedro Grifol didn't much care for it either, pulling the star centerfielder, who had a weird explanation for all this during the postgame.

"What happened was, last [Friday] night, I hustled a lot down the line," Robert said through the team interpreter after the Chicago's 10th consecutive loss. "Today my legs were a little tired. My right hamstring was a little tight. Then I decided just to play conservative today. ... I think my mistake was that I didn't tell anybody. I didn't tell the manager because I knew if I said something to him, he probably wouldn't let me play."

Robert also had to be fed the name of White Sox's bench coach Charlie Montoyo like he'd frozen on stage in a middle school play. Chuck Garfien and Gordon Beckham, forced to spend a precious Saturday night in some studio instead of doing literally anything else, reacted accordingly on NBC Sports Chicago.

It should be underlined that Robert does play hard. And one missed sprint to first base is not going to make or break a year. One undersands the relative value of protecting against further injury. But come on, man. You need to tell your coaches or training staff or anyone besides the left fielder so they can put together a plan.

We're not into May yet so there is time to turn things around. But damn the vibes are awful. Who knew they could get worse post-La Russa? For the past few years the White Sox have been the fanciest house on the block that also has a distinct rotting smell that assails you when you enter. So strong that you wonder how they don't smell it, or wonder if they're just used to it. It feels like there's something rotting in the load-bearing walls and it's only a matter of time until complete collapse.

Unless, of course, they're already in the midst of it.