Chill Out, the New Meijer Patch on Detroit Tigers Uniforms Is Fine

We're putting sponsorship patches on Major League Baseball uniforms and no one likes it except the brands who get tons of visibility and the teams that get a bunch of money from the partnership. But that's where we are and the toothpaste isn't going back in the tube. If anything, the tube will feature an ad for crypto while the mess just gets worse.

So it's not surprising at all the Detroit Tigers, who sadly have not been able to insulate themselves from the stupid novelty hats two-dozen times per year, are taking it on the chin for adding some sponsored content to their iconic uniforms.

While only a dead-eyed capitalist could look you in the face and say adding Meijer to the sleeves is an improvement, I do feel compelled to turn down the temperature a bit. It's not ... that bad? Or more accurately, it certainly could have been worse.

The color is not distracting and the patches aren't gaudy. Plus, and this is crucial to the equation, it's Meijer. Few things in our fractured times flirt with a universal approval rating in a purple state but this delightful store has managed to do so. Michiganders love it so much they add an S to the name without thinking because they subconsciously want more of it. And we don't love it in the oh god their sandwiches are so good way. It's a utilitarian love. They have everything and that's just where you go. It's as simple as that.

If it had to be any company — and it really did have to be someone — I am glad it's Meijer.

They let me get a job there at 14 years-old where I was slow and bad at bagging groceries until they told me to hit the parking lot pavement and wrangle some shopping carts then forgot to ever check in for hours. Perfect job, no notes. When I need tortilla chips or new patio furniture, they are there. My kids love to ride the pony for a penny the same way their grandfathers and grandmothers did.

Occasionally thinking about Meijer while watching the Tigers won't be the worst thing in the world. In terms of destroying something beautiful, this is more a half-measure than the full thing.