The Boston Red Sox are especially hairy this season, even for the notoriously hairy Boston Red Sox. So what better way to embrace said hairiness than with “Dollar Beard Night”? Yes, “Dollar Beard Night.”
It’s as simple as it sounds. Show up to the ballpark with a beard — the one on your face — and get into tonight’s game against the Orioles for the pleasant price of $1.
Unfortunately, there are two things tragically wrong with this promotion. For starters, the beard can actually be fake, which seems criminally unfair to those who have spent months growing repulsive, unkempt beards.
On top of that lame reality, the $1 tickets themselves are not in fact hairy — at least that we know of — which is beyond disappointing.
Of course, this can all be made up for with a Green Monster covered in Johnny Damon’s old beard.
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