Fast Food Friday: Dunkin' Donuts Chips Ahoy! Donut
By Mike Cardillo
In this semi-regular feature, The Big Lead staff will sample and review delicacies from fast food establishments, ballparks, or anywhere else that triggers thoughts and feelings.
Timing is everything in life, right? Lo and behold today is National Donut Day and I’m writing about Dunkin’ Donuts new Chips Ahoy! donut. Dunkin’ Donuts did not pay me to write any of the following 500+ words. If you live in New England, as I do, it is simply impossible to drive more than four minutes without passing a Dunkin’ Donuts location and Wednesday night I needed an ice coffee pick-me-up.
Once inside the store I saw a tray of donuts staring back at me and realized I could turn that combination of flour, sugar, chocolate and egg into a well-received and (hopefully) beloved blog posting.
Speaking of online publishing, thankfully the blog game doesn’t test for PEDs. Whatever Dunkin’ puts in its iced coffee, works. I generally feel on par with Nux after receiving a transfusion of Mad Max’s high octane crazy blood, meaning it helps turn a mediocre No. 8 batter with warning track power (me) into a damned blog superstar who can smack 50 million pageviews in a single post. Well, not really, but rest assured after gulping down some Dunkin’ coffee I’m ready to run through a wall and not even the meanest, snarkiest hateful comment is going to get me down … until the inevitable crash.
We’re not here to talk about Dunkin’ coffee, however. I’m not going down the road comparing it to Starbucks, either. Drink Dunkin’ if you like. Avoid it if you don’t. Your personal preference for chain coffee doesn’t impact my life, but if you’re a Dunkin’ Donuts executive reading this, it’s embarrassing that roughly every fifth or sixth coffee from one of your joints is a steaming cup of acid-tasting, nigh-undrinkable poison — again that’s besides the point.
Today we’re here to talk about the actual donuts at Dunkin’ Donuts which seem to have slipped below flatbread sandwiches, guacamole and other foodstuffs in terms of prominence at the chain, despite its name. Donuts have certainly benefited from the Instagram era. People simply love taking pictures of donuts with cereal pieces or bacon or whatever other wild goodies you can encrust on top of them.
Look good/taste good … that’s a winning combo.
Did Dunkin’s Chips Ahoy! donut look good enough to ‘Gram? Sure. The crumbled up cookies were indeed drool-inducing, but I was more concerned with scarfing done that circle of saturated fat than taking a picture of it.
Even so, as much as I wanted to eat the donut right away, I didn’t want to spoil my dinner so I saved it for the next morning. This is probably a mistake. Donuts are great and all, but are a lousy breakfast for a number of reasons. Once I was done eating, the sugar rush set in and my face started feeling greasy. My stomach was rumbling for more nourishment within about half an hour.
That’s the bargain you make with donuts going in.
Taste-wise the cookie-flavored filling was merely okay. It paled in comparison to Dunkin’s Oreo-branded creme flavor, that much is certain. I tend to doubt I’d rush out to the the nearest Dunkin — conveniently located across the street from where I live — to eat another one. If, however, I worked in an actual office and a co-worker brought in a dozen donuts as a Friday treat I’d pull a Constanza and push everyone out of the way to ensure I snagged the Chips Ahoy! donut instead of jelly stick or standard chocolate frosted.
Caffeine and sugar are a hell of a drug.
PREVIOUSLY: Fast Food Friday: Ranking the Ice Cream at Chain Establishments
PREVIOUSLY: Fast Food Friday: Feels Like an Arby’s Night