The Miami Dolphins have heard the footsteps. Millennials — all of us — stalking slowly down the hall, our breathing heavy but controlled, as we prepare for another fresh kill. This time, it’s NFL blood we’re after. And the Dolphins — bless their hearts — have extended a hands-shaking offer to Millennials in a last-ditch effort to save their moral souls.
Is that cheap enough, Millennials? Are we going to accept that?
The Dolphins say that for $40 they’ll let you into the stadium on gameday. That’s about it, though. You won’t get a seat. You’ll get to stand around leaning on a railing and checking Tinder, just like you do at the club!
From the Miami Herald:
“I think people, particularly millenials today, they’re multitasking and doing five different things at once. They can stand up here and be social with each other and turn around and see the game and talk with each other,” said Tom Garfinkel, president and CEO of the Dolphins as he stood from one of the standing-room only overlooks.
Fans will be able to roam the upper deck of the stadium or simply hang out by one of eight new sections, talking to their friends, with easy access to a beer refill, all while leaning on the bannister for a sky view of the game. Each section will hold no more than 100 people each, and they are also being marketed to large groups.
Of course, those beer refills won’t come cheap. Neither will parking. And HD television with a DVR is still HD television with a DVR. The Dolphins say they got the idea for this after the Chicago Cubs sold cheaper standing-room only tickets during their World Series run. It was a good idea for the Cubs, though it goes without saying there are some notable differences between Wrigley Field in Chicago and Hard Rock Stadium in Miami, and the Dolphins do not, at this juncture, appear headed for a historic postseason run.
It’s something, but I dunno, Millennials. We can probably work ’em down even more. They don’t seem that scared yet.