Two LaVar Ball Clones Would Not Beat Michael Jordan in a 2-on-1 Game

Footage of LaVar Ball playing rec league basketball and it is not pretty. He looks like the shell of the player who averaged 2.2 points per game at Washington State. Kinder, he looks like many other men over 40 who play basketball once a week after work. But a vast majority of his companions in this group don’t suggest, with a straight face, that they could beat Michael Jordan in a game of 1-on-1.

As if there were any doubt, it’s now painfully obvious that Jordan would mop the floor with Ball, mano a mano. After seeing the many deficiencies in Ball’s game, the debate should shift. Could Ball and a Ball clone even get the better of Jordan in a game of 2-on-1?

My first reaction is to say yes, but it would not be an entirely one-sided game.

Nothing on the tape above suggests Ball is hiding some reservoir of quickness or an outside shot. Jordan’s defensive strategy would be to force one Ball to take a 10-footer and hope to grab the rebound against the other Ball on the weak side. I’m of the opinion he could have some success if he could dictate that shot. If the Balls were allowed to bang around down low, they have the obvious size advantage and could easily get putbacks at will.

Despite the double-team, I’m also optimistic Jordan could score on offense. He’s much quicker and surely still has some range.

If forced to set a line, I’d put it at Team Ball -4.5 in a ones-only game to 11. But could one truly feel confident betting against the greatest basketball player to ever live? Jordan’s competitiveness — especially with a few bucks on the line — is legendary.

It’s a damn shame this hypothetical game can never happen if only because it could serve as Ball’s ultimate humiliation and comeuppance for unchecked hubris.

Scientists, if you’re reading this, please work tirelessly to facilitate this reality before the elder Ball’s 15 minutes expire. The world needs you.